Grief. It’s not something that we can emotionally prepare ourselves for, regardless of whether we’ve had time to consider that a loved one will leave us through illness or if it’s a sudden death that turns our world upside down.
Grief also doesn’t follow an orderly timeline – friends and family may encourage us to “take the time we need,” implying that after a “reasonable” period we will move on and life will continue.
But the pangs of anguish can sweep in at the most unexpected moment; such that we can also resist the grieving process and block it out because it is just too painful.
Grieving is critical, however, and has even been described as medicine. A season of grief is what God gives to us in order to cleanse our souls from the agony and to set us on the path towards healing and wholeness.
He also gives us comforting Bible verses for death and Bible verses about grief that we can meditate on, knowing that it is the truth contained in his Word and the power of the Holy Spirit that will give us the daily help that we need.
Bible Quotes about Losing a Loved One
Here are some Bible quotes about losing a loved one to reflect on in this difficult time:
In our sadness
These Bible verses about grief and sadness show us that life here this side of heaven will not be easy. In our lives, we will experience heartache, suffering, and struggle, but God’s Word promises us that Christ will be there with us.
He won’t give us more than we can handle with His help, and even our lowest times can be used to glorify God. God loves to draw close to us when we are most vulnerable, tending to us like a loving father and being compassionate and full of mercy.
The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. – Psalm 34:18
Grief can be overpowering. It can make us feel as if we are in a long dark tunnel with no light at the end. But this verse teaches us that even in the midst of soul-crushing grief, God has mercy on us and heals our inner hurt.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. – Psalm 23:4
David knew grief and this is why many Psalms address the topic. Psalm 23 is possibly the best known of all of David’s Psalms. In it, he describes the rest and peace that God provides.
When David was facing death (whether his own or that of someone else is not clear), he found solace both in God’s discipline (God’s “rod”) and guidance (God’s “staff”). In other words, God is taking care of David both through daily guidance, instruction, and wisdom.
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. – Romans 8:26
Prayer is the way we communicate with God. But because He is a holy God and we are sinful people, we don’t know how to pray properly. This is even more the case when we are in the midst of grief.
However, Paul informs us that though our prayers may seem ineffective, scattered, or distracted, the Holy Spirit stands between us and God and makes intercession for us. There is a great deal of mystery here which is beyond our ability to understand, but at the very least we have the comfort that our prayers are heard by God no matter how insufficient they may seem to us.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you’re seeking strength
As we read and meditate on Bible verses for grief, we see that we do not need to muster up the strength to get through each moment and day; God calls us to hold on tightly to Christ and He will give us the strength and grace to carry on. He is an ever-present help in need, and, even when life circumstances seem unbearable, he can give us peace which transcends understanding.
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. – 2 Corinthians 12:9
This verse has provided comfort to many in their grief. No matter what we are going through, the grace of God is enough for us. We may be weak, but His power is demonstrated in the midst of our weakness as he lends us his strength.
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth gives way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. – Psalm 46:1-3
When our world seems to be crashing in and trouble and grief are on every side, this verse offers us the comforting knowledge that God will defend us and strengthen us. Even though everything around us might be falling apart, God is the one source of stability in life.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. – Psalm 73: 26
Though we may feel ourselves to be at the end of our rope we can count on God to be our strength and our inheritance. This means that no matter how bad things are God will still do good to us and help us to get through the though times.
How we see death as Christians
If the loved one you are grieving was a believer in Christ, it is encouraging to remember that, while the pain of loss is arduous, you will be reunited with them for all eternity when Jesus returns! The following verses about death point to this amazing hope. Reflecting on the reality of heaven is uplifting.
If they did not know the Lord, you can seek refuge in the knowledge of God’s absolute sovereignty and that this life, with its pain, is temporary – we can fix our eyes on what is unseen and rest on the truth of God’s Word.
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. – Revelation 21:4
This verse speaks about the world to come. The New Heavens and the New Earth will be free of sadness, tears, and pain because this present world will be renewed. Whatever grief and misery the Christian may experience here in this world will be done away with by the presence of God, Himself.
Additionally, even the source of the grief will be no more because the old world will be forever gone. Though for now, we live in this world, we can be comforted by the thought that this life is not all that there is and that all will be made right in the next.
May the Lord meet you where you are at in your grief, and may you rely on him, through these Bible quotes about losing a loved one, and grow ever deeper in your knowledge and faith of God.
Christian Grief Counseling in San Diego
If you’re looking for a grief counselor in San Diego, we invite you to browse our counselor directory or call our scheduling assistant to make an appointment. It would be our privilege to walk alongside you as you navigate the various stages of grief with the Lord’s help.
“Reading”, Courtesy of Lisa Fotios, Pexels.com, CC0 License; “Grieving Alone”, Courtesy of Pixabay, Pexels.com, CC0 License; “Contemplation”, Courtesy of Yogendra Singh, Pexels.com, CC0 License; “The Long View”, Courtesy of Pixabay, Pexels.com, CC0 License
Loss can take many different forms, and you may be suffering from one right now. When losses hit you, you can find lasting comfort in Bible verses about loss. Scripture can lift you up no matter what type of loss you are facing.
Perhaps you have suffered a loss due to the literal death of a loved one or a pet. Maybe your loss is related to a life transition, like divorce, the empty nest, or a cross-country move. Other losses like breakups, getting laid off from your job or a sudden friendship change can hurt, too. In each of these losses, you can find a Bible verse for comfort in a time of loss.
Scripture for Loss: What Does the Bible Say?
When we look up loss in the Bible, we can find all kinds of examples. Job experienced sweeping losses of his children, flocks, and health, all within a swift time span. Sarah and Hannah experienced the painful loss of infertility. David suffered the losses of at least four children and his dearest friend, Jonathan. Jesus felt the painful loss of companionship in his greatest time of need.
The Bible shows us real examples of loss to give us affirmation and comfort. It never sugarcoats our pain. God knows each of our losses and cares about every one of them, no matter how small they may seem to others. He offers us comfort and hope when we study Scripture for loss.
A Time for Loss
A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance. – Ecclesiastes 3:4
Because we live in an imperfect world, loss is inevitable for each of us. God designates times of loss in his great sovereignty. He saw your loss coming before you did, and he weeps alongside you.
This verse tells us that there is a chosen time for weeping and mourning. We must do this to get past the pain of loss. If we deny it or put it off, we will only suffer longer. God will walk through our time of loss with us. Then, as we get to the other side of the loss, we can laugh and dance with God again.
The Lord Offers Comfort
For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones. – Isaiah 49:13
When you are experiencing a loss, you need comfort to get well. It can be tempting to numb ourselves with the wrong things when we need comfort. Food, alcohol, drugs, social media, unwise relationships, and a myriad of other activities may offer temporary relief.
However, this type of comfort never lasts and can even leave us with guilt and additional pain. The Lord himself offers us comfort that is everlasting. Because he is all-powerful and mighty to save, he can comfort you better than anything or anyone else.
As you rest in his presence, you will feel his comfort and compassion. Draw close to him in prayer and meditate on Scripture for loss, and you’ll experience the comfort that you need.
Relax in God’s Comfort
As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem. – Isaiah 66:13
Babies often will not stop crying until they are resting in their mother’s arms. Then they calm immediately because they feel comforted and secure. Hopefully, you experienced a loving relationship with your parent, relative or guardian when you were a child.
Perhaps you have offered comfort, yourself, as a parent or watched others offering it tenderly. God wants to offer you loving and tender comfort in the way a mother comforts her child. He wants to hold you close and let you cry it out. He wants to offer you the security you seek.
The Lord Strengthens You
You who are my Comforter in sorrow, my heart is faint within me. – Jeremiah 8:18
Does your heart feel faint with loss? Maybe it’s hard for you to get through a single day, much less a week or month, without feeling overwhelmed with loss. This Scripture for the loss of loved ones can bring you the comfort you seek.
You don’t need to do anything except to receive the comfort of the Lord like a warm blanket wrapped around you. He is holding it out to you now in love. When you find comfort for your loss in God’s presence, you will feel stronger.
The word “comfort” can be broken down into two parts – “with” and “strength.” God wants to be with you in your sorrow to offer you his mighty strength, which will help you get through your loss. He will help you through the days, weeks, months and years ahead with his strength.
The Holy Spirit Gives Comfort
And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper (Comforter, Advocate, Intercessor – Counselor, Strengthener, Standby), to be with you forever – the Spirit of Truth, whom the world cannot receive [and take to its heart] because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He (the Holy Spirit) remains with you continually and will be in you. – John 14:16-17
When we believe in the One True God, the Holy Spirit lives in our hearts. Jesus promised that the Holy Spirit would be our Comforter. He also helps us through our struggles. He intercedes for us in prayer.
The Holy Spirit strengthens us and continually stands beside us. If you believe in God, you already have the power of the Holy Spirit living inside you! He will comfort you with Bible verses for mourning. It’s the Holy Spirit’s job to remind you of everything God wants you to know.
He will speak to you through God’s Word, sermons, podcasts, Christian books, counselors and Christian friends. As you ask the Holy Spirit to help you, you will find comfort in many different ways.
God is Faithful
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. – Hebrews 10:23
You may only have a glimmer of hope in your heart right now. That is enough for God to use. Cling to that hope like an anchor in a storm. If you hold tight to it, God will prove himself faithful to you.
He will not let you sink or be cast away. God will never leave you nor forsake you in your loss. He is watching over you every minute, growing your faith as you hold onto hope in his promises.
The Value of Courage
Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart, all you who hope in the Lord. – Psalm 31:24
It takes courage to face our losses and ask God and others for help. In Bible verses on loss, we learn that as we take courage and hope in the Lord, he will strengthen us. It’s similar to weight training. Muscles become stronger only when they are pushed past their limits.
The muscle fibers break down during a workout but become stronger when the fibers grow back together. Courage is like the weight we use in a loss challenge. With each repetition of courage, our faith in God becomes stronger. Choose courage instead of disappointment, and God will strengthen you.
Your Loss Has Purpose
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. – 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
You may have heard the phrase, “God never wastes a hurt.” This Bible verse proves the statement to be true. As you begin to heal from your loss with God’s comfort, you will be able to comfort others in the future.
His comfort is designed to fill up your heart and overflow onto others. That’s why it’s important that you take steps to heal now. You can find purpose and strength with God’s help.
Christian Counseling for Loss
You may get stuck after a loss and need help to move forward. Study and meditate upon these Bible verses on loss, but don’t be reluctant to ask for help from a Christian counselor. A counselor is equipped with the right tools to help you handle your loss. Please give us a call at Seattle Christian Counseling to learn more about how counseling can help you.
Kate Motaung, copyright 2019, all rights reserved
People in a sexless marriage often think their marriages are doomed. Even if your sex life has gone cold, it doesn’t mean your marriage is heading downhill. Sex plays a major role in marriage, but fulfillment in marriage can occur even on days it doesn’t happen. Usually, these seasons in marriage are only temporary.
Myths about Sexless Marriage
Here are four myths worth debunking when it comes to sexless marriage.
Myth 1: One spouse is cheating
There are many factors that can contribute to a sexless marriage. Sexual trauma could cause a pause in sexual activity, family stress or sheer exhaustion are all contributing factors to a drop in desire. If one partner isn’t interested in sex, that doesn’t necessarily point to infidelity.
It’s important to look at all the causes that are contributing to a lack of sex in marriage. If the husband is burdened by work stress and the wife is fatigued from chasing after kids all day, the probability of passionate sex in the bedroom plummets. Life is busy and marriages often get placed on the backburner.
Myth 2: Once the romance is gone it can’t be rekindled
After years of sex, it’s normal to view sex as more monotonous than thrilling. If the novelty has worn out sexual boredom can be defeated by introducing a new level of excitement.
This might make one of the partners uncomfortable and want to retreat back toward their comfort zone. Exploring different options to spice things up can fan the flame until it’s blazing again.
Another way to rekindle the romance is to first examine yourself and look for the ways you contribute to the relationship problems. This is an uncomfortable part of getting romance back, but it’s necessary for maturation in a marriage. Sometimes it’s as easy as learning to listen to your spouse again.
If you stopped listening attentively to your spouse, take the time to engage in genuine, deep conversation. Plan a special date night or do something spontaneous to stoke the fire. Hope is not lost forever and romance can be rekindled by giving a little extra care and attention to each other.
Myth 3: Married couples are less likely to have sex
Many people say sex ends once marriage begins, but that isn’t the case. The intense chemical euphoria at the beginning of a relationship can cause younger couples to have more sex.
But it’s the married couples that have more varied sex than single people. Not only that, but married people express a deeper level of commitment toward each other.
Myth 4: You can’t make yourself feel desire
Desiring your partner does not mean just desiring sex, per se. Desire usually begins before sex happens. When desire is lacking in a relationship it’s not usually because chemistry has disappeared.
Usually, there are problems in the relationship that haven’t been resolved and prevent desire from growing. It’s similar to when a friend does something to irritate you and in your mind, you think, “I don’t like you right now.”
These momentary thoughts might push you away from your friend in the short term, but does that mean you’ve lost all capacity to ever like him? No, you only need to figure out what underlying irritations might be keeping those desires from making an appearance again.
It’s not only relationship problems that cause a lack of desire but everyday stressors that disrupt the feelings. You might absolutely adore your spouse, but every other thing that demands your attention chips away at the desire that once was.
Christian Counseling for Sexual Dysfunction
If you, or your spouse, are struggling with desire in your marriage, make an appointment with a professional Christian marriage counselor. God designed sex to be a source of intimacy between spouses.
Discussing any obstacles you are facing will help bring freedom back into your marriage. A Christian counselor is ready to help you rediscover the pleasure of sexual satisfaction within marriage.
“Bridge Walk,” courtesy of mana2014, pixabay.com, CC0 Public Domain License; “Under the Covers,” courtesy of Prinz Peter, pixabay.com, CC0 Public Domain License; “Indie Cuddles”, Courtesy of Toa Heftiba, Unsplash.com; CC0 License; “Still in Your Arms,” courtesy of Toa Heftiba, unsplash.com, Public Domain
Grief is a multifaceted response to loss or trauma. Waves of grief can hit unexpectedly and rarely follow a concrete, linear path. Professional counselors and scientific researchers use “stages” to describe the different components of grief, but these are more like guides to assist those navigating through the tangled emotions and experiences brought on by grief.
Studies can provide mourners with new insight that is based on the experience of others, but it’s important to not fall into the trap of comparing your grieving process with everyone else. The grieving process for each person doesn’t need to happen in some specified order. The times, length and phases of grief can vary widely from person to person.
However, by walking through the so-called stages, the hope is to better equip each other to cope with life and loss.
Grief and Loneliness
Grief can often isolate us from the world because it is deeply painful and overwhelmingly personal. There’s no one who can fully understand your feelings and the intensity of your personal grief. You might discover someone with a similar story in whom you find comfort by sharing, but it’s still your grief to own and process.
In 2 Corinthians 1:14 we are told, “He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”
A supportive friend can’t answer your questions, solve your problems or pretend to know precisely what you are feeling, but that friend can offer you a hug, spend time praying with you or just be with you in your moments of sorrow.
Grief and Hope
We have someone who is our hope in a world full of despair and heartache. He knows us, never leaves us and listens to our cries. Psalm 34:18 reminds us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
God has given us the capacity for mourning and expressing our emotions. We are even encouraged in Lamentations 2:19 to “pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord.” He longs to hear from us and to be the one we cling to.
There’s a particular scene in the scriptures where Jesus arrives after the death of his friend Lazarus. Although he knew he would miraculously raise him from the dead, Jesus still wept. He experienced the pain of those around him on a deep level.
He didn’t minimize their pain or ignore it. He welcomed the opportunity to share the overwhelming burden of bereavement. He validated the poignancy of grief by participating in it during his time on earth. We, like Lazarus, also have hope after death. Jesus made known the Christian’s great hope of victory over death that we have in Christ.
Grief as the Journey of a Lifetime
It’s impossible to rush grief or force its hand. This demonstrates one major flaw in dividing grief into stages, giving a false notion that when you reach a certain stage you can leave grief behind.
Good counselors make use of techniques that help the mourner to accept the reality of the loss and to move forward in a healthy way. Even when progress is made, wounds are healed, and sadness slowly fades away, the process of grieving may never be 100% complete in this life. Although the pain can be intense, grief is should not be thought of as a disease that needs a cure.
Rather, it is a process that requires a lifetime of healing. Indeed, the effects of the loss are often felt for the rest of one’s life. There are no shortcuts to bypass this process. A good counselor will help you alleviate the pressure you might feel to “get over” the grief and help you live with it as you continue to walk through life.
Causes of Grief
Up until this point, the cause for grief has mainly been linked to the loss of a loved one. But grief occurs after many different life events and is not confined to the death of a loved one. For example, grief can also come as the result of:
- Death of a pet
- Loss of a job
- Loss of physical or mental abilities
- Separation from a loved one
- End of a friendship or relationship
- Serious illness of a loved one
- Leaving home
Loss is a painful inevitability in life, and grief is a natural part of the healing process. The personal effects of the tragic circumstances listed above often share similar attributes, which is why we can refer to all of them as sources of grieving. Now that we have established that there is no set formula for grieving, let’s look at some of the popular models to help understand grief more thoroughly.
The Five Stages of Grief
Elizabeth Kübler-Ross wrote what has become perhaps the most well-known study of death. In her book On Death and Dying (1969) she details five stages of grief. She has been praised for managing to enact a paradigm shift in thinking about death. Because of her work, it has become more acceptable to be open about and seek support after a loss.
The five stages of grief, as adapted from Kübler-Ross’s book are as follows:
This stage of denial is often trivialized but is the common reaction to the shock that happens immediately after witnessing a loss or hearing news of a loss. It’s a way to of coping with the immediate pain.
Some people experience a numbness during the grieving process, which makes it more difficult to identify emotions and process through the grief. Feeling anger can be a useful gateway to identifying and uncovering other thoughts and emotions.
The anger can be directed at many different things or people, but underneath always lies pain. Intense anger just shows how intense the love was for the person or thing that was lost.
Before a loss, it’s often natural to attempt to bargain with yourself or God. During bargaining, a person may want to go back in time. If only we went to the doctor sooner or didn’t drive on the icy roads. It may appear unreasonable to bargain about something that is permanent, but the state of grief is not fundamentally reasonable.
The depression that is experienced often feels like it will last forever and that you will never move past this state. Grief does not reach a deeper level than this as you focus on your present emotions.
Depression can feel hopeless, but it’s a normal stage when going through healing. When the reality sinks in that your loved one is not returning, a completely normal and appropriate form of depression begins to settle in.
Acceptance is when you finally face the fact that the loss is real, and you begin to learn what existing in a world without your loved one looks like. This step is critical since it enables us to remember and retain the lost one’s legacy. This does not mean you forget your loved one, in fact, it’s healthy to cherish and celebrate the memories.
If you, or someone you know, is facing grief, a Christian counselor in San Diego can provide compassionate support, comfort, and empathy during this delicate time. Counseling provides a safe place to process your grief in your own way without fear of judgment. A good counselor will honor your grief and respect the level of love it represents. With a counselor, you can pour out your pain to a listening ear.
“Grief”, Courtesy of Claudia, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Grieving Woman”, Courtesy of Free Photos, Pixabay.com; CC0 License; “Autumn Tree Farm and Road,” by Charles Knowles, Flickr CreativeCommons (CC BY 2.0); “Hold On,” courtesy of Priscilla du Preez, cdn.magdeleine.co, CC0 Public Domain License
Experiencing the trauma of losing a spouse is one of the deepest griefs known to humankind. The bereaved spouse is left in a world that seems familiar but is devastated by a loss that impacts every other aspect of life. In dealing with grief after the loss of a spouse, it’s helpful to understand the grieving process and all its components.
Acknowledging the Loss When Dealing with Grief
The most common first reaction to losing one’s spouse or other loved one is denial. It seems impossible that this person is gone, never to come back. Eventually, reality sinks in and the grieving person’s mind accepts the truth of their loved one’s death.
Their emotions also become accustomed to the loss and they lose their instinctive impulse to speak or reach to their loved one.
Instead, those impulses become reminders of grief. It’s common for a bereaved person to think they caught a glimpse of their loved one in a public setting when they were really just reminded by someone who resembled them. This glimpse of a seemingly familiar face triggers a moment of hope that the loved one isn’t really gone.
The Need to Feel & Express Grief
It’s essential to fully feel the devastation of the loss, allowing the painful emotions to be experienced and expressed. Overwhelming sadness in response to loss is painful yet necessary.
Experiencing all of this grief and pain is the foundation for moving forward in the grieving process. Every aspect of the loss will impact the grieving spouse in a specific way, from a sense of loneliness and isolation, even to feelings of anger or resentment at the deceased spouse, and frequently, anxiety, regret, despair, guilt, or depression. Any areas of the relationship that were difficult or unresolved before death can trigger these negative emotions.
Feeling Pain, Finding Hope: The Comfort of the Cross
According to a Christian worldview, death is an unnatural interruption in our original destiny, which is to live eternally with the Lord. Because of sin and the fall, death became a part of our human experience. Not only will every one of us die eventually, but we will all experience the loss of loved ones. Because of Jesus’ death on the cross as a sacrifice for our sins, and his resurrection where he conquered death, we can have hope beyond this life and know that there is a future beyond the grave.
Christian Counseling for Those Who Grieve
It’s crucial for a widow or widower to have a solid support system to help them as they’re dealing with grief, including family, friends, and church relationships.
Unfortunately, sometimes it is hard for support people to understand why the those dealing with grief have not adjusted better once several months have passed since the loss.
It’s impossible for those outside the relationship to understand the depths of grief the bereaved spouse is experiencing. This means that the support may lessen just as the initial crisis has passed and the bereaved spouse needs more encouragement and fellowship instead of less.
“Too Young to Feel this Old,” courtesy of Dee Ashley, Flickr CreativeCommons (CC BY 2.0) CHRISL 6of8 Grief 6393640269_73408ea726_o; “Scream,” courtesy of Dayne Topkin, unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Hold On,” courtesy of Priscilla du Preez, cdn.magdeleine.co, CC0 Public Domain License
San Diego Christian Counseling is an affiliation of professional Christian counselors with many years of experience providing help and counsel to people of all ages and backgrounds as they work through a variety of issues.
San Diego Christian Counseling
5405 Morehouse Drive, Suite #120, San Diego, CA 92121
Mon-Sat: 8:00 AM- 8:00 PM
Sun: 8:00 AM – 2:00 PM