Premarital Counseling in San Diego

So, you’ve decided to get married. Congratulations! This is one of the most exciting times of your life. Making that commitment is also one of the biggest steps you’ll ever take. In the midst of wedding planning and enjoying your engagement, don’t forget to prepare for your life after the wedding. Your future marriage will benefit greatly from taking the time to invest in premarital counseling.

When you meet with a qualified Christian therapist for premarital counseling, you and your partner will have an opportunity to prepare for marriage in many different areas of your relationship, ensuring that you will have a solid foundation for years to come.

Here are a few questions you might have about the pre-marriage counseling process, and how the counselors at San Diego Christian Counseling can help you prepare for a long-lasting, joyful marriage built on Christ and His Word.

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(619) 332-4448

Premarital counseling with a Christian counselor is a good fit for any engaged couple. It is more pre-emptive than marriage counseling, meaning it focuses on preventing future problems as well as addressing current issues in the relationship.

You don’t have to be having ongoing conflict or serious issues to pursue premarital counseling. The counselors at San Diego Christian Counseling offered skilled faith-based guidance as a way to solidify your relationship, whether or not it’s struggling.

On the other hand, sometimes an engaged couple is having a lot of relationship issues or communication problems. Or perhaps you are an individual experiencing doubts or struggles leading up to your wedding day. If that is the case, premarital counseling provides a safe context for you to share your thoughts and feelings and make sure that you can approach marriage with confidence.

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The goal of Christian pre-marriage counseling is to build a solid foundation of love and understanding. At San Diego Christian Counseling, we want your marriage to endure through all the hardships that happen with two sinners living in a broken world. Using proven counseling techniques and biblical teaching, Christian therapy can prepare you to avoid pitfalls along the way as you set out on your journey of marriage.

Christian premarital counseling is a tool to help you learn skills for a Christian marriage. Each couple and Christian therapist are different, but here are a few things you can expect from your sessions:

  • Discussing and establishing expectations for marriage
  • Working through the strengths and weaknesses of your relationship
  • Allowing each partner to be heard without judgment
  • Gaining realistic knowledge about what marriage entails
  • Learning how to deal with struggles and conflict from a biblical perspective
  • Guidance from a trained and experienced marriage and family counselor

At San Diego Christian Counseling, we have observed that couples who’ve undergone premarital counseling are less likely to become trapped in destructive relationship patterns. They are better equipped to handle difficulties and conflict, and they are more confident in their marriage.

The topics in your premarital counseling will be unique to you as a couple, based on your desired outcome and the current state of your relationship. Here are some common topics that are addressed during Christian counseling for engaged couples in San Diego:

  • Communication
    • Intentionally learning each other’s languages
    • Communicating openly instead of making assumptions
    • Learning to encourage each other and give grace in this area
  • Sexuality
    • If you and your partner are abstinent now, discussing expectations for this area once you’re married
    • Addressing issues of sin in the past or present in this area
    • General expectations and concerns
    • Practical considerations such as birth control, privacy, spontaneity vs. scheduling
  • Your inner world
    • Wanting to be known, yet finding this frightening
    • Getting to know all about your partner’s desires, dreams, fears, etc.
    • Feeling safe
    • Building a good foundation for when times get hard later on
  • Conflict
    • Learning how to manage it, not eliminate it, since it is inevitable at some point
    • Understanding each other, not hurting each other
    • Addressing issues constructively, avoiding defensiveness, and addressing current conflict pattern

“Research has found that couples are 31% less likely to divorce if they get some type of premarital training prior to marrying. Couples who participate in premarital training report a 30% higher level of satisfaction and enjoyment than those who do not participate. Going through premarital training is an important step in safeguarding your relationship.” ~Susan Goertz

In Christian premarital counseling, you can explore:

  • Who you are, who you are marrying, and your securities and insecurities
  • What marriage means to each of you
  • Where both of you see each other in the future (5, 10, 15 years, etc.)
  • When you are getting married
  • Why you are getting married

Les and Leslie Parrott, authors of the book Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, offer an assessment for premarital couples, and their assessment is often used as a model in premarital counseling.

When you examine areas such as your beliefs and feelings about marriage, each partner’s psychological health, any baggage brought to the relationship, individual personalities, and faith and spirituality, all prior to getting married, you’ll have the opportunity to clear up unresolved issues and manage potential conflict later on.

One of the biggest issues in any marriage or any relationship is communication. As humans, we are all sinners, and we are all unique individuals with distinct personalities, backgrounds, fears, and desires. We can struggle to talk to each other about those differences in ways that are beneficial for each individual and the relationship itself.

Christian therapy for engaged couples offers a neutral, compassionate, and guided setting to learn and implement healthy communication patterns. Maybe your relationship is good and you don’t have major conflict, but you can still brush up on ways to communicate well with your partner before getting married. Or maybe you have a lot of conflict; premarital counseling can help you learn to communicate constructively and find solutions that you both can accept.

In Christian premarital counseling, you’ll have the opportunity to discuss each of your natural ways of communicating and interacting, based on your personalities, backgrounds, and families of origin. You’ll also learn how to move beyond assumptions and clearly explain your thoughts, feelings, and experiences so your partner is not left in the dark.

At San Diego Christian Counseling, your counselor will help each of you feel heard, and may provide more education and practical exercises. As you get to know each other’s strengths and weaknesses, you can grow as individuals and in your relationship.

You can expect the number of premarital counseling sessions to be tailored to your needs as a couple. The number of sessions that a couple requires can vary greatly on a case-by-case basis, depending on your needs, preferences, and the time you have available before your wedding.

Many couples find that between three and seven sessions are a good fit for their goals. Christian counseling for engaged couples can be beneficial whether you have been together for nine months or nine years. You can discuss your goals and preferences with your Christian counselor during your risk-free initial session.

At San Diego Christian Counseling, we offer an online directory where you can browse counselor profiles to find the therapist that will be the right match for you. It’s very important to be comfortable with your counselor, so don’t hesitate to ask questions and discuss your needs when making your first appointment. Call us today at 619-332-4448 to schedule your risk-free initial appointment.

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