Anger Management Counseling
Anger is something almost everyone is familiar with. Whether you’ve struggled with it yourself or someone you know deals with managing their anger issues, it is one of the most common emotions you will see put on display. While anger is not necessarily always unhealthy, it often is. And when it begins to damage your relationships and life, then counseling may be a necessary next step.
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I’m tired of being an angry person. I think I need anger therapy. What kind of anger management help do you provide?
San Diego Christian Counseling offers a robust, psychologically-rooted approach while incorporating Christians faith and practices. The goal of Christian anger management counseling is to deepen your relationship with God through expressing your emotions, while you learn Christian principles and healthy patterns to help you live a temperate, Spirit-filled life. Jesus’ teachings are filled with lessons on patience and love. He reveals to us that inappropriate anger is the equivalent of murder in our hearts and that we are not to hate our brothers or sisters. Acting out in violence or abusive language stands in direct opposition to the teachings of Jesus.
The Christian life is not free from problems, especially when we are trying to grow away from our old self and the practices that keep us from God. The counselors at San Diego Christian Counseling are here to help you with the difficulty, not to condemn or shame you. San Diego Christian Counseling is a safe and loving place for you to process your anger and grow into greater health.
One method of anger management we offer is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), which encourages individuals to understand their emotions by identifying their causes and subsequent consequences. Once you come into greater awareness of your emotions, you can then use your awareness to determine the healthy response to what your emotions are communicating.
The method fosters emotional regulation and decreases suffering as you learn to identify the real issues. Once we understand our emotions better, we are able to redefine the purpose they serve and accept that they aren’t the real problem, but merely warning signs.
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What are the most common signs of anger issues?
Being angry does not necessarily mean you have anger management problems. There are moments in life when it is normal, or even healthy, to be angry. For example, when you are experiencing injustice. With that being said, if there are unhealthy, recurring patterns of anger in your life then you may have a problem. Some key things to look out for if you are concerned that you or someone you know may have issues managing their anger are:
- Difficulty reaching compromise or arriving at a mutual agreement without getting angry
- Issues with expressing emotions in a healthy and calm manner
- Refusing to listen or ignoring people
- Inward aggression that can lead to isolation or self-harm
- Outward aggression including shouting, swearing, or being physically violent and threatening
- Addiction or Substance abuse
- Becoming especially angry or violent when consuming alcohol
- Repeated inappropriate behavior which affects significant relationships.
Some symptoms of anger management symptoms are actually physical manifestations of the emotion. For example:
- Heart palpitations or tightening of the chest
- Increased blood pressure
- A pressure in the head or sinus cavities
What are the most effective techniques for dealing with anger?
While Christian counseling aims to ultimately deal with the deeper issues and help you understand emotions through things like Dialectical Behavior Therapy, the counselors at San Diego Christian counseling can also equip you with practical techniques to help manage your anger while you continue on the long road to healing. Some of the most effective techniques are:
Check yourself. Making good choices is hard to do when in the grips of anger. So instead of trying to overpower it at the moment, try to identify warning signs early. When you start to feel irritated or annoyed, attempt to remove yourself or calm yourself down before things escalate.
Don’t Focus on it. In counseling, you will have to take time and reflect on things that have happened, but in your day-to-day, it is not helpful to replay the things that make you angry over and over. Be sure to take intentional structured time in counseling to process your memories and experiences, but then release the thoughts in your day-to-day.
Change your perspective. In counseling, it’s called cognitive restructuring, which is the concept of shifting the way you think about things. For example, instead of thinking “Things aren’t working out right now. They are never going to work out,” try thinking, “This situation is really frustrating and I’m disappointed, but we will figure it out.”
Relax. Simple things like meditation and breathing exercises can help you keep calm when things start to feel out of control. A little proactive action can prevent serious outbursts.
Express your feelings. Rather than hold all of your emotions inside, learn to express them in an appropriate way. It will be like a pressure valve, helping relieve the building anger and help prevent an outburst.
Get Exercise. This might seem unconnected, but getting regular exercise is a natural way for you to decompress and deal with mounting stress and concern.
How do I deal with angry people in an effective, Biblical way?
This question is very complex because anger comes in a variety of forms and exists in a variety of relationships. You will respond differently to your angry neighbor then you would an angry and abusive spouse. To get a more definitive answer, you will have to meet with a professional Christian therapist who can work with you to determine an appropriate course of action.
With that being said, the Bible does speak to these issues. Jesus in the Lord’s prayer calls us to ask for and extend forgiveness. Without a mutual willingness to acknowledge our wrongdoing and the wrongdoing of others, a real relationship cannot exist. When someone is operating in anger, they are often unwilling to see their behavior as an issue and acknowledge their wrongdoing.
In relationships like this, it is important to set boundaries regarding how you will be treated. It is fair to pursue compassionate assertiveness, which is the idea that you have a right to verbalize the need for compassion and care in the relationship. This is really a call for both people to be willing to acknowledge their role in the conflict. Even when you are dealing with an angry person, you still deserve to be treated with respect and do not need to endure inappropriate behavior. You can lovingly confront them and express your needs and boundaries.
Can anxiety and anger be related? What about depression and anger?
In recent years, anger has come to be recognized as an important and often undiagnosed sign of more comprehensive emotional disorders such as anxiety and depression. So if you feel like your anger might be related to anxiety or depression in yourself or someone you love, then it is best to seek professional guidance to help you parse out exactly what is going on.
What can I expect from anger management counseling in San Diego?
Asking for help is often the most difficult part of the journey, but fear not, the counselors at San Diego Christian Counseling are willing to do everything they can to make you feel supported while working through these painful issues.
In Christian Anger Management counseling, you can expect to:
- Learn what triggers your anger.
- Establish accountability for your anger and the way it effects yourself and other people.
- Experience healing from past wounds that your anger might be covering up.
- Learn to identify your anger, and other emotions, before they get out of control.
- Find ways to relax and calm yourself down when you feel triggered.
- Discover ways of expressing anger in a healthy, constructive manner.
- Experience forgiveness for yourself and others while developing a deeper relationship with Christ.
A life free from uncontrollable anger can exist. You can find peace and control. If anger is negatively impacting the important relationships in your life, then Christian Anger Management Counseling may be the right choice. It can help you process your emotions and repair your relationships.
What do you recommend regarding anger management for kids?
Anger management counseling for kids can be very beneficial. Children often struggle to identify and express their emotions. Sometimes they appear angry when they really feel something different inside. Anger Management Counseling for kids can help your child grow in greater awareness of their own emotions and feelings, while also helping the parents to set and hold appropriate boundaries regarding their child’s behavior.
Do you offer counseling that deals with anger management for teens?
Yes. Teenagers often experience a lot of transition and growth throughout their adolescence. As they experience change, they often struggle to express their frustration, fear, and anxiety. Christian Anger Management counseling for teens can help get to the heart of the anger and restore rocky relationships.
Christian Anger Management Counseling for teens will help them:
- Understand the underlying causes of their anger.
- Learn to express their emotions in an appropriate way.
- Calm their intense emotions in a healthy manner.
- Build supportive relationships with other family members, providing a safe, nurturing environment.
- Discover the unconditional love and security Jesus has for us.
Not all anger means that you have issues with anger management. However, if the issues are persistent and damaging your relationships, then Christian Anger Management Counseling may be a needed next step. If you want to find a Christian counselor in San Diego area, please consider San Diego Christian Counseling.
San Diego Christian Counseling is here to help you deal with and recover from your anger through both psychological rigorous practices and a Christian faith-based perspective. Please contact us for a risk-free trial session.
Get connected with a Christian counselor
Contact Kelsey at reception