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Codependent Behavior: What to Look Out for

One biblical proverb states, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy” (Proverbs 27:6, ESV). The wisdom gained in this proverb is that while a friend might wound you, perhaps by telling you a painful truth, it comes from a place of love, and it is for your benefit and good. On the other hand, an enemy might shower you with affection, but you can’t trust it because it doesn’t have your best interests at heart.

Most, if not all, relationships will have uncomfortable and painful moments and seasons. These are sometimes necessary as they may represent sloughing off old and unhelpful habits and growing in virtue. It’s easy to cut off anything and anyone who makes you uncomfortable or encourages change in your life; however, this proverb invites us to look deeper at what may be going on.

When you’re mired in a relationship, it can be hard to discern the habits, mindset, and behaviors that you consider normal but could actually be detrimental to your well-being.

Codependency is a cluster of behaviors and thinking patterns that may appear normal to you, but ultimately undermine flourishing; therefore, it is important to pay attention to the signs of codependency and to make the necessary changes in your life, even though that could be painful to do.

Codependent Behavior in Brief

People aren’t built to function as entirely independent entities. We need many things to survive, and one of the many things we need to not only survive but thrive is healthy relationships with others. Relationships provide us with the stage to fully display what it means to be creatures made in the image of God, who is love (Genesis 1:26-27; 1 John 4:16).

Our calling is to love God and love others as we love ourselves (Matthew 22:34-40; Romans 13:8-10; 1 Corinthians 13). Love entails relationship, and it entails engaging in relationships in a particular way. The way we are to relate to each other includes being truthful, honoring each other, and practicing humility.

There is a distinction between healthy mutual self-giving love, wherein there is an expression of healthy dependence on one another, and codependency. Codependency stems, in large part, from a lack of or unhealthy self-identity. They may depend on others for their sense of validation, or they can struggle to operate independently of others. Their sense of value or worth is pegged according to whether others need them.

Codependence indicates in someone an unclear sense of who they are, which often leads to the blurring of lines between their identity and that of the other person in the relationship. A codependent relationship dynamic leads to the inability to distinguish between your own feelings, thoughts, and needs, and another person’s. Codependency can result in the prioritization of other’s needs over one’s own in detrimental ways.

When a person is codependent, they often carry a fear of abandonment by their loved ones. Since they are afraid of being rejected by others, they can compromise their own values, either enabling or rescuing a loved one from the consequences of their actions or attempting to control their behavior to avoid facing feelings of rejection or anxiety.

All in all, codependent behavior does not honor the fact that you are made in God’s image and have intrinsic value and dignity; this in addition to God’s love demonstrated by what Christ did on your behalf on the cross. Codependency roots a person’s value in the approval of others, making these others something akin to gods. The problem with gods or idols is that they require sacrifice, and codependency often leads to unhealthy forms of self-sacrifice.

Why would you be unaware of your codependent behavior?

Codependent behavior can be damaging to a person’s well-being. When a person becomes enmeshed and doesn’t have a separate identity, they overlook their Christ-identity and the way God made them. Seeking approval and purpose and trying to get your sense of identity and value from others, whether they are your friends, siblings, parents, children, or significant other, is a perilous path because you cannot get those things from another person.

One question that could be asked is why you’d be so unaware of codependent behavior in your life. How is it possible to miss it? There are several reasons why you might be unaware of the codependent traits you exhibit. We are often blind to patterns that feel natural to us, and so if you’ve grown up or have been socialized by your family and community to act in codependent ways, you’re unlikely to see the issue, even if you feel its effects.

Some people are also quite generous and giving by nature, or these traits may be modeled and encouraged, and they could be part of your family’s ethos. It may also be fueled by particular understandings of Christian faith that miss the fact that while Jesus was the quintessential servant, He still took time for Himself (often in prayer).

He had a clear sense of identity that allowed Him to say “No” to others when it didn’t align with His purposes (Mark 1:35; Luke 4:42-44).

Sometimes, one might be aware of their codependent behaviors, although they simply wouldn’t think of them that way. They may think of it as being loving, generous, others-centered, and selfless. Codependent behaviors can mask themselves as these things, but there is a difference between them. A codependent person may find themselves improperly practicing values they cherish that are consistent with biblical love (1 Corinthians 13).

You might also be unaware of your codependent behavior because it has not been brought to your attention. If you enable your partner’s behavior, for instance, it’s unlikely that they would be the one to call out your codependency, because that’s part of the dynamic you have. It often takes someone else, sometimes a stranger, or someone with knowledge of codependent behavior, to point out how you are relating to others and yourself.

Signs of Codependent Behavior

Codependent behavior may be easy to miss or overlook; thus, it is important to outline signs of codependency. Some signs of codependent behavior to be watchful for include the following:

Loss of identity If a person defines themselves solely or primarily through the relationship, and if they lose touch with their personal interests and autonomy, that could be a sign of codependency.

Lack of boundaries A boundary is a psychological demarcation that separates you from other people. Healthy boundaries help you maintain your sense of integrity and identity. If, however, you have difficulty saying “no” to other people or setting important limits to what you’re willing to do, that could be a sign of codependent behavior.

One consequence of poor boundaries is that you could end up overcommitting yourself, leaving you stretched thin and emotionally exhausted. This can lead to increased and/or persistent frustration and resentment toward others.

Excessive caretaking Codependency also often leads to constantly prioritizing the needs of others over your own, often at great personal expense. Being deeply enmeshed with the other person can lead to being controlling and micromanaging them.

Fear of abandonment Codependency is often accompanied by a fear of abandonment. This can be described as persistent anxiety or panic when one’s partner is away or threatens to leave. Even if everything is okay, a codependent person may fear being abandoned, leading to constant bids for reassurance. This fear can lead to staying in unhealthy relationships.

Enablement Covering up, brushing aside, or excusing a loved one’s harmful behaviors, such as addiction or abuse, are all indicative of enablement. Rather than holding someone accountable for their harmful behavior, the codependent person will often enable the behavior because they feel needed.

Recovering from Codependency

Sometimes our habits are so deeply ingrained that it seems impossible to do things differently; however, recovery from codependency is possible. There are steps that you can take toward this goal, and a great place to start is through self-reflection and seeing codependence clearly for what it is. If codependency is cloaked as anything other than what it is, there will be little to no motivation to do anything about it.

Another step is to take time for biblical self-care. Loss of, or disconnection with your identity in Christ, leads to enmeshment, which is one of the key attributes of codependency. Taking time for yourself to explore your own hobbies and rekindle a sense of who you are away from the relationship is important.

It can take time to rediscover who you are apart from the relationship. Give yourself grace, be kind to yourself, rest in God’s perfect love, and connect with your identity in Christ as you do this work. You can also combine this with setting and maintaining clear boundaries.

Professional counseling can help you identify and understand your values and limits, as well as help establish and communicate healthy boundaries. Counseling is also a space where you can explore the origins of codependent dynamics in your life and begin developing a fresh understanding of relationships. Call us today to learn more or to schedule an appointment with one of the counselors in our directory.

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Mourning the Loss of a Loved One: Grief Counseling in San Diego

Looking for Christian grief counseling in San Diego? If so, this article is for you. When all is said and done, what matters more than our relationships and the people that we love, and who love us?

Our lives are made up of many different moving parts, from our work, recreation, families and friends, food, hobbies, and much else. One great predictor of whether we have an overall sense of well-being is the health of our relationships. If our relationships are healthy, we are more likely to be happier overall. San Diego Christian Counseling can help support and strengthen these relationships to promote greater well-being.

Our relationships are a huge part of what our lives are about. That’s one reason why losing a loved one makes such an impact on our well-being. It’s right and good for us to grieve when we lose loved ones. In this article, we’ll look at how to find grief support in San Diego and beyond.

What is Grief?

Grief is the process through which we come to terms with the loss of a loved one. Grief doesn’t solely take one form. Some people will shed tears, while others will be more reserved in expressing their emotions. We don’t grieve in the same way because we’re all different people, and we don’t express our thoughts and emotions in the same way.

Just as we process grief differently, it’s also important to remember that we grieve for different reasons. We grieve when a loved one dies, and that loved one might be someone close to you with whom you have an amazing relationship, or the person who died may be estranged from you or with whom you have a fractious relationship. You may grieve a total stranger; for instance, if you witness something tragic.

You may also experience grief if a beloved family pet dies, or if a long-cherished dream goes bust. You can grieve the end of a relationship through separation or divorce. Loss of health, receiving a serious diagnosis, experiencing a life transition such as retirement or an empty nest – these are all reasons for grief.

Why We Need Room to Grieve

Why is it so important that we grieve and come to terms with loss, whatever form it may take? The reason is that when we fail to grieve, we set ourselves up for significant negative emotional, psychological, and physical consequences. When you don’t grieve, it can delay the healing process and make it more challenging. Pushing your feelings down can make you numb, making it harder to connect with others or experience positive emotions.

If you don’t give yourself room to grieve, it can contribute to anxiety and depression, and you might end up having complicated grief, a condition characterized by intense, prolonged, and debilitating grief. Left unprocessed, grief that’s attached to trauma, such as an accident or through violence, can result in post-traumatic stress disorder.

Not addressing grief can also result in higher levels of stress, which may lead to a weakened immune system, cardiovascular issues, and disrupted sleep. Poor sleep affects your overall sense of well-being, including your ability to regulate your emotions. This in itself could lead to strained relationships with loved ones.

Similarly, if you don’t address your grief, it could lead to strained relationships with family and friends, as they struggle to understand your emotional needs. They may feel helpless and unable to support you meaningfully. Loss affects your sense of connection, your openness to trust others, and your vulnerability. Not working through grief may also prove challenging when forming new relationships because you may struggle with trust and intimacy.

Grief happens in many different ways, and there is no standard timeline for grief. The important thing is for you to face the various emotions and thoughts that surface during grief. Grief affects you in one way or another; it’s just that if you don’t allow yourself room to grieve, you may find yourself reacting in unexpected and potentially unhealthy ways down the line.

Giving Yourself Room to Mourn a Loved One: Grief Counseling in San Diego

When you’ve experienced loss, the healing process is a complex and highly personal one. Personal in the sense that we each heal and grieve in our own way, and not in the sense that we are meant to do it on our own.

Some ways for you to create room for yourself to grieve include the following:

Allow yourself to feel Acknowledge your feelings, and allow yourself to feel the sadness, anger, regret, shame, pain, peace, or any other emotions that may arise. Grieving is a process, one which you never quite get over. You learn to live with the loss. Don’t pressure yourself to move on or try to get on with life too quickly. Consider taking a break from social media or work to create room for you to feel.

Have a safe space Some people set aside a designated physical space in which to grieve. This space could be outdoors, by the beach in San Diego, or in a quiet corner of your home where you can retreat to process everything.

Take care of yourself Don’t neglect basic needs like eating well, getting good sleep, staying hydrated, exercising, and engaging in activities that relax you. Reach out to loved ones, letting them come around you for connection and comfort.

Honor and remember your loved one Some people try to deal with the pain of loss by avoiding any mention of them or not going to certain places that remind them of the person they lost. Instead, find a personal way to honor them, reflect on who they were and what they meant to you, and find ways to celebrate them and the connection you had.

Seek help You don’t have to grieve alone. You may find it beneficial to consider professional grief counseling in San Diego. At San Diego Christian Counseling in California, your counselor will walk alongside you with the understanding that we grieve differently. They will help you to process the emotions and thoughts associated with the loss, helping you to find healing and wholeness.

For more information about grief counseling in San Diego, contact our office today at San Diego Christian Counseling in California.

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“I Am Angry”: Finding Anger Management Therapy in San Diego

If you struggle with the frequent realization, “I am angry” and you’re looking for faith-based anger management therapy in San Diego, California, we can help.

There are moments in life when it feels like you’ve been thrust into a corner, and you have limited options for response. When someone cuts you off in traffic, putting you and your family in danger, or when you have to tell your child to shape up for the umpteenth time, or when a colleague makes a joke at your expense one too many times, the natural response and feeling of anger that wants to erupt in that moment feels inevitable.

Situations such as these may be common in your life, or perhaps you feel angry, with your blood pressure remaining high, over what may be called smaller things. While feelings of anger may be powerful, and even though it’s easy to feel justified to let loose on people who anger you, uncontrolled anger can take a huge toll on your life and well-being. It can severely damage you as well as your relationships with other people.

Since anger is such a potent force, knowing how to control that anger and deal with it appropriately is such an important skill. One of the places to begin is by understanding your own anger, beginning to recognize the damage that uncontrolled anger is doing in your life, and building the appropriate tools and skills to cope well with anger. San Diego Christian Counseling can provide guidance and support as you work through these steps.

Places Your Anger May Emerge From

Anger is a powerful emotion of displeasure that arises in situations when things are or have already gone awry. When you become angry, you typically do so in response to a situation you find yourself in that stirs up those feelings. In other words, your anger is doing you the valuable service of alerting you to something happening in your world that needs to be attended to.

There are several reasons why you could get angry. There are various sources of anger, and they include feelings of frustration that result from being prevented or somehow thwarted in your attempt at accomplishing a cherished goal. That goal could be more time with your kids, getting a new promotion at work, not getting caught up in traffic, or running an errand as quickly and smoothly as possible.

Another reason you might get angry is because of experiencing physical or emotional harm from another person. If someone breaks up with you or puts their hands on you or insults you, that could lead to anger. Yet another possible source of anger is when you or someone you care about experiences injustice. Perceived or real inequality and unfairness can stir up fierce anger.

Anger may also result from feeling threatened or uncertain about the future. Not knowing what is to come can be deeply unsettling, and one possible response to that is anger. Lastly, one of the ways that unresolved emotional wounds or traumatic experiences manifest is through anger. This anger can erupt unpredictably and toward an innocent person who may have nothing to do with the initial harm.

There are many possible causes of your anger at a given moment. One of the ways to get to the bottom of it is to become more self-aware. Asking basic but important questions like “What’s been bugging me lately?”, or “Is there a person, specific event, underlying emotion, or situation that seems to be at the root of my anger?” can help you get to the bottom of things.

Anger can be a challenging emotion because it can also mask other emotions. Fear was already highlighted, but feelings of shame, guilt, or embarrassment can also be masked by anger. Additionally, anger may also be a symptom of something else, like depression or bipolar disorder. This makes it vital to see a professional for help to get to the bottom of your anger.

Is your anger an issue?

At what point does your anger become a problem? Anger can be a ubiquitous emotion, and it comes in many shades. Anger can manifest itself as an annoyance or irritation with someone, but it can also be a blinding rage. Some people would say of themselves that they never get angry, but on closer inspection what they mean is that they don’t act in aggressive ways, but perhaps they do get sarcastic, which is an unhealthy expression of anger.

Your anger is a problem if you’re afraid of it, if it’s a consistent feature in your life, if you don’t know how to express it directly and without causing harm to yourself or others, and if there is evidence of relational detritus in your life that is linked directly to your anger. Our emotions are helpful tools, but they can make for terrible masters. If your anger directs or dictates how you act and respond to people, that’s a cause for concern.

Anger may be an issue in your life even when you’re not aggressive or violent in any recognizable way. Anger can be directed outward toward other people, as we see often in road rage incidents or public brawls. However, anger can also be directed outward in passive-aggressive ways, through sarcasm, procrastinating, sulking, giving the silent treatment to people you’re angry at, and so on.

A person’s anger may also be directed inward. Check your internal dialogue, particularly when you make an embarrassing mistake. How you speak to yourself says volumes. A person who would never dream of uttering invective to another person may be perfectly at ease directing insults at themselves. Those other people are made in God’s image, but so are you. Just as you respect them, treat yourself with dignity too.

Coping Skills for Anger Management

When you feel angry, and if that anger feels overwhelming or in control of how you act, you must bring it under control. There are several effective coping skills you can use to get anger in hand. Try these, keeping in mind that what could work for one person may not work for another. A combination of these skills can help you bring your anger under control.

Some coping skills you can make use of to cope with your anger include:

Take a pause You do not have to say everything that comes to mind, especially when you’re angry. Words spoken in anger are usually something you later regret. Pause, collect your thoughts, really listen to what the other person is saying, and do all this before saying anything. Only express your concerns when you’re calm, and do so in a clear, direct, assertive, non-confrontational, and non-manipulative way.

Breathe As you take a pause, deep breathing helps to calm your nervous system which your anger placed on high alert. Take slow, deliberate breaths to help yourself calm down enough to think clearly. You can also make use of progressive muscle relaxation techniques to release the physical tension anger puts your body under. When you feel like you’re not under attack, you can respond more congenially.

Get some exercise Some people, when they take time to pause from a heated conversation like to go for a brisk walk or something else to calm themselves and get rid of pent-up energy. Exercise is great for releasing tension in the moment, as well as helping you relieve stress and elevate your mood regularly.

Along with exercise, other aspects of self-care are equally important in handling anger well. When you sleep well, you boost your ability to handle your own emotions, and when you eat regular healthy meals that promote emotional and mental health, you’re also doing yourself a favor. Hunger is one of the states that leave you feeling slightly on edge and more likely to take provocation seriously.

Seek solutions In a given situation, it’s better to pursue creative solutions to problems to resolve feelings of anger. Your anger may draw you to seek solutions to issues, and you can use that energy to find workarounds. If your colleague is late for meetings, perhaps readjust your expectations, reschedule the meeting, or consider if the meeting is even necessary.

You can also seek solutions by adjusting your communication. Instead of blaming the other person or making blanket statements, describe the issue with “I” statements, as these avoid putting the other person on the defensive.

Forgive Forgiveness is important in all our relationships (Matthew 6:12-15, Colossians 3:13). Don’t hold a grudge against others, as that can prime you to respond in anger toward them. See their humanity and need for forgiveness, just as you need it. In some instances, you can also use humor to laugh at yourself, see your own unrealistic expectations of others, and more easily face whatever is angering you.

Anger Management Therapy in San Diego

Pursue anger management therapy in San Diego Controlling anger isn’t always easy, and when anger is out of control, having an independent third-party weigh-in can be a huge help. A mental health professional at San Diego Christian Counseling can help you better understand your anger, and they can help you develop tools to deal with anger, whether that’s journaling, better communication, or other ways to express anger well.

If your anger is leading you to hurt yourself or others around you, seek help from a Christian counselor in San Diego today. To get started with anger management therapy in San Diego, contact our reception team by calling the number at the top of this page or filling out an online contact form to schedule an appointment.

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Toxic Couples: How to Identify Toxic Behaviors and Avoid an Unhealthy Relationship

It’s a good bet that most families, communities, circles of friends, and neighborhoods have at least one of them. That one couple who makes you groan, “Oh no. I hope nothing will happen this time” when they are coming to an event, be it Thanksgiving dinner, a block party, outdoor movie night, gallery opening, church service, or a wedding. You hold your breath hoping there’s no drama until it’s over.

One way to describe a couple like the one alluded to is “toxic.” That word has been used a lot in many online and in-person conversations regarding relationships of all kinds. It could be referring to a couple in a romantic relationship, colleagues, family members, neighbors, or even how strangers relate to one another. This word describes certain characteristics, and it’s helpful to understand what makes toxic couples toxic.

What does “toxic” behavior mean?

In general, the word “toxic” refers to something dangerous or deadly. You don’t see flowers or wildlife flourishing at the site of an oil spill or where radioactive waste has been dumped. When applied to relationships, the word thus seems to describe behaviors of the worst sort in those relationships. However, the challenging and surprising thing is that most of us have some toxic traits that may become egregious if they’re not curbed.

Toxic relationship behaviors undermine the health of the relationship and the well-being of your partner. Some may be subtle, while others are glaringly obvious. Regardless of how visible or hidden these behaviors are, they are unhealthy for relationships. If you’re struggling with toxic behaviors in your relationship, seeking support from professionals at San Diego Christian Counseling can provide guidance and healing.

Identifying Toxic Behaviors in a Relationship

Some toxic behaviors include the following:

Emotional manipulation

One partner uses guilt, anger, threats, or self-pity (playing the victim) to control the other’s emotions and actions. Another form of manipulation is gaslighting, where one partner deliberately distorts reality, denies previous agreements or conversations, or makes the other partner question their own memory or sanity as a form of control.

Manipulation and control happen in other ways too. One can pursue a romantic or emotional connection with someone outside of the primary relationship to control or manipulate their partner. Withholding information, lying, or distortions of the truth can also be used to control or manipulate one’s partner.

There are other, more subtle behaviors like love bombing, which may also be rooted in issues such as an insecure attachment style. Love bombing is where one partner showers the other with excessive attention or affection, and it can also be unhealthy because it can be a form of manipulation or a way to cover up insecurities.

Disrespect and contempt

These behaviors can also be present in unhealthy relationships. They may involve frequent criticizing, belittling, or mocking one’s partner. Putting down the other person, telling jokes at their expense, dismissing or minimizing their feelings and concerns, and ignoring or disrespecting their physical, emotional, or sexual boundaries are also problematic behaviors.

Another form of minimizing that can be toxic is when one downplays the severity of their hurtful or abusive behavior toward their partner.

Selfishness and entitlement

We all have needs, but consistently prioritizing one’s own needs, desires, and feelings over those of one’s partner is problematic. Similarly, expecting automatic compliance, special treatment, or constant attention from one’s partner is also unhealthy. A refusal to take responsibility for one’s actions, emotions, or mistakes is also a form of toxic behavior.

One way to refuse accountability is through projection, which is when you attribute your negative thoughts, feelings, or behaviors to the other person, instead of taking ownership.

Unhealthy communication patterns

There are many different ways of communicating that are disrespectful, hurtful, manipulative, or indirect and thus liable to create or prolong conflict. Reacting in passive-aggressive ways such as sarcasm or the silent treatment are examples. Stonewalling, where one partner refuses to communicate or becomes unresponsive, can be another damaging behavior.

Similarly, explosive angry outbursts, whether accompanied by shouting, making threats, physical violence, or property damage, is a damaging and toxic behaviors in a relationship. It creates an unsafe environment that’s not conducive to vulnerability, building trust, and nurturing emotional and physical intimacy.

Control

Being possessive and jealous can also be toxic behaviors, with one partner becoming excessively controlling or accusatory toward their partner. Besides using emotions to control, finances can also be wielded in the same way. One partner can control or withhold financial resources to ensure compliance. Using substances to control or manipulate one’s partner, or to cope with relationship stress is an issue.

In our digital age, the use of technology to control, monitor, or harass one’s partner is also a form of toxic behavior.

Physical harm

Physical or sexual abuse is a severe and immediately identifiable form of toxic behavior in a relationship.

Poor boundaries

Every healthy relationship has clear boundaries that the partners honor and respect as a way to love each other. If there are no boundaries or the boundaries that exist are violated and there is no accountability for that, it will create a decidedly unhealthy dynamic in the relationship. Boundaries are essential to maintain healthy relationships and one’s emotional and physical well-being.

Constant conflict

Having ongoing conflict, especially around the same issue, is a red flag. Healthy conflict finds a resolution for both parties. Also consider that while constant conflict is an issue, avoiding conflict and having difficult conversations is problematic, as well.

These and other unhealthy or toxic relationship behaviors can manifest in various ways, causing harm to one or both partners. At their heart, these toxic behaviors are a failure of the commandment Jesus said was the second greatest commandment:

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ – Matthew 22:37-39, NIV

A failure to love well is what is at the heart of toxic behaviors. We all fall short in this regard because we are often so caught up in getting our own way and in seeing things from our perspective that we end up harming others, on purpose or otherwise.

Nurturing Healthy Relationship Behaviors

One of the things that Jesus said that often gets misunderstood is what He said about judgment. When Jesus said, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged” (Matthew 7:1, NIV), He didn’t mean that we shouldn’t exercise any judgment or discernment, or label behavior accurately. He goes on to say that the issue is that we tend to be terrible judges; we inflate the faults of others while minimizing or excusing our own (Matthew 7:3-5).

When it comes to toxic behavior, we may find it easy to justify ourselves as individuals or a couple. We might say, “We’re not like that couple”. We could be quite correct in pointing out their toxic behaviors, but we are often blind to our own behaviors.

We could say the same of our spouse or partner. We might see their faults or toxic behaviors as clear as day but miss our own. That’s why we need to be slow to judge others, and quick to look at ourselves first.

It takes humility and a lot of hard work to look at ourselves and reflect on our own lives to see if we are exhibiting any toxic behaviors. That self-reflective work is the first port of call if we want to nurture healthy relationship behaviors. It’s helpful to identify some patterns of speaking to and about your spouse, how you express your emotions, and whether you honor your individuality and boundaries.

Nurturing healthy relationship behaviors is not just about identifying the issues; it’s also about building positive habits. Our words can be used to tear down, but they can also be used to build up, encourage, comfort, and express love. Find a couple whose relationship and walk you admire, and who can keep you accountable. Accountability can be a game-changer in building a healthy relationship.

Next Steps to Overcome Toxic Behaviors

You can also seek couples or marriage counseling in California. Your counselor can help you to identify toxic behaviors in your relationship, and they can help you to disrupt the thoughts and behaviors that feed into and cement these behaviors.

Through Christian counseling in California, you can improve your communication, work through your relationship trauma, set boundaries, and find new ways to relate to each other in healthy ways. Call our office today at San Diego Christian Counseling to learn more.

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Depression in the Bible: Embracing Hope and Encouragement from Elijah

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