Three Vital Stages of Spiritual Growth for Women

Just as there are identifiable stages of physical growth, there are likewise stages of spiritual growth that Christians must pass through. Using the book “Lies Women Believe, and the Truth that Sets Them Free” by Nancy Leigh DeMoss as a template, this article explores the stages of spiritual growth that women pass through on their way to spiritual maturity.

Stage One: Seeing the Consequences of Eve’s Sin

We can only imagine the flood of thoughts that raced through Eve’s mind when she was kicked out of Eden with her husband, Adam. Looking at the desolate land they now stood in, it is likely she regretted her earlier decisions.

It was only that morning that she had been leading a perfectly harmonious life yet now everything had fallen apart. Eve experienced firsthand the reality of failure, defeat, and isolation, feelings that women from all walks of life relate to.

Ms. DeMoss describes today’s Christian women as being in bondage, “They are not free to enjoy the grace and the love of God.” This lack of freedom has resulted from regret over bad decisions made in the past or bad things they have experienced. Bondage also takes the form of “fear of man” and the need for to be approved of by others.

We need to remember that the Bible tells that we have been set free. Bondage has no hold over us, we are supposed to be joyful, radiant, full of peace and a whole lot more

Unfortunately, women are not experiencing this freedom and the root cause is that we have believed lies that we have been told our whole lives.

These lies started in the Garden of Eden when the serpent lied to our First Mother, Eve and the web of lies in all its forms was passed down to every generation after her.

My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring him back, remember this: whoever turns a sinner from the error of his way will save him from death and cover a multitude of sins. – James 5:19-20

We can trace all the problems in the world back to that first deception, the consequences of believing an untruth. It is time to reclaim our lives!

Stage Two: Seeing the Lies for What They Are

Ms. DeMoss lists eight lies that have been told and although the list is not exhaustive and not every woman wrestles with each of them, these are the most common eight.

Lie #1 – God: Are there lies about God that you have believed? A common question heard during counseling is, “If God is a good God why did ___________ happen to me or someone I love?”

The Devil asked Eve a similar question. He created doubt in her mind in her mind, diverting her attention (and our own) from the abundant blessings she was already enjoying. This doubt causes us to justify holding what God says up to our own ideas of what is right and wrong.

Psalm 119:68 reminds us “God is good, and everything He does is good.” In spite of our knowledge of this Scripture, we often doubt God’s love for us. This is especially true when God does not answer our prayers as we think he should, or the answers are delayed. The doubt magnifies until it becomes bondage.

Our misconceptions about God lead us to compare Him to the men in our lives. We expect him to fix all of our problems and even consider him unresponsive, inadequate and far too restrictive. If any of these lies sound familiar, then you should study DeMoss’s book in-depth. Our view of God is key to the way we live our lives.

Lie #2 – Self: We often believe that our poor understanding of God is reflected in His understanding of us. Ms. DeMoss writes, “If we do not see Him as He really is – if we believe things about Him that are not true – invariably, we will have a distorted view of ourselves.”

When we view God as unable or weak it further affirms the various lies we have believed. We consider ourselves to be worthless. DeMoss reports that 42 percent of the women surveyed in preparing to write the book reported that they believed this lie. These lies started in our childhood and continued into adulthood, lies that have resulted in bondage and even caused mental health afflictions.

Jesus is acquainted with our sorrows, he understands our pain. 1 Peter 2:4 tells us that Jesus was “rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to Him.” Jesus knew who he belonged to and how much the Father loved him. It is because of the love that flowed from the Father to him, that Jesus laid down his life for us – truly amazing love!

Other lies in this section of the book include the lie of needing to love ourselves, the lie that we cannot change the way we are, the lie that we are entitled, the lie that physical beauty is more important than beauty on the inside, and the lie and all of our longings should be fulfilled.

Every chapter includes specific Scripture passages that provide truth to help fight against the lies. There are also questions for reflection to help you think about whether these lies have a foothold in your own life.

Lie #3 – Sin: Because we live in a fallen world sin continues to be an inevitable part of our lives. As Christians, we know that Christ died for our sins but there are some lies that we have believed about sin.

Part of Satan’s lie to Eve was to deny the consequences of sin. God had expressly told Adam and Eve that the day they would eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil they would die but Satan countered this by saying, “Did God really say?” he (Satan) went on to add “you will surely not die”

The book spends quality time on this particular lie, expanding it to cover lies such as my sins aren’t really that bad, my sin is beyond forgiveness, my actions and reactions aren’t my fault, and overcoming over sin is a myth.

In order to combat these lies, we must: 1. Align our thinking with God’s; 2. Take full responsibility; 3. Believe what is true; 4. Do what is true; and 5. Pray for help.

DeMoss concludes by addressing five other lies that relate to our priorities in life, marriage, children, our emotions, and our present circumstances. Like the other chapters, these end by dealing with specific lies, and the Truth of Scripture.

Each chapter concludes with a written prayer to help you seek God’s help in finding the truth. Our goal is to ultimately live free of Satan’s lies!

Stage Three: Walking in the Truth

The two big ideas in this book are: 1) Believing Satan’s lies enslave us, and 2) God’s truth has can free us. As we mature in our Christian walk and pursue intimacy with Christ, the yoke of lies begins to slip off.

As a final step, DeMoss takes us through a series of Bible verses that deal with bondage. We will keep the review of this section light because you should study these steps prayerfully. Galatians 6:2 tells us as believers to help carry each other’s burdens, Christian Counseling San Diego can be a good option for help if you find yourself believing a lie or need help breaking some sort of bondage.

I can do everything through him who gives me strength. – Philippians 4:13