Sex and Porn Addiction

We live in a society that is absolutely saturated with sex. From billboards to buses to television to the internet, sex is everywhere. It is used to sell products, to titillate viewers, to entrap those in power positions, and to enslave as many as possible.

It should come as no surprise, then, that pornography addiction is at an all-time high. What used to be viewed privately, behind closed doors, now stares out at us from a million websites, magazine pages, advertisements, television shows and movies. Formerly, it required a visit to “that magazine rack” in the grocery store to get the latest porn magazine and the shame of buying “those kinds of magazines” was often a deterrent.

The internet, however, has provided an unprecedented level of easy and anonymous access to pornographic perversions of every flavor. Lured by the call of the forbidden, many become enslaved to pornography, finding it nearly impossible to resist its draw.

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You may be asking yourself how you can know if you or someone you love are addicted to pornography. Here are some signs of pornography addiction (not in any particular order):

  • You are unable to quit.
  • You aren’t interested in sex.
  • You find time slipping away from you.
  • You crave it.
  • You have developed unrealistic standards of beauty.
  • You have developed unrealistic ideas about sex.
  • You are losing money because of pornography.
  • You are irritable.
  • You find yourself constantly distracted.

If some or all of these symptoms describe you, then you may be addicted to pornography. If so, the time to get help is right now. Don’t wait until pornography addiction destroys your life and relationships.

Pornography addiction is a kind of slavery. Call the counselors at San Diego Christian Counseling to set up an initial risk-free counseling session and let them help you break free.

The struggle is real. Many try to break the hold that pornography addiction has on them only to return to it as soon as it calls because they don’t know how to break porn addiction. This is disheartening at best and can lead to other serious conditions such as depression and suicidal thoughts and tendencies.

If you want to know how to quit porn, first, as shameful or difficult as it will be, you have to tell someone. In order to break the pornography addiction, you need accountability. This accountability partner must be someone you can and will be honest with.

This person should also be someone who is not afraid to get in your face and call you out on your sin, when necessary. In addition to delivering rebuke however, an accountability partner should also be someone who will celebrate your victories with you and encourage you along the way.

For most people the possibility of giving up laptops or phones is just not realistic. We live in a tech-oriented culture and many jobs require employees to have both phones and laptops with internet access. That being the case, it should go without saying that in this day and age, some sort of internet filtering software is absolutely vital.

It is crucial to remember that you should not know the password to your internet filtering software. Only your accountability partner should be able to access it. Periodically, you should meet with your accountability partner to discuss where you are in your struggles.

Not everyone can afford internet filter programs, but the good news is that there are a number of free options available, such as Covenant Eyes and Open DNS Family Shield. While no internet filter is foolproof, the idea is to make it as inconvenient as possible for you to gain access to porn.

Know Your Triggers

Discovering your triggers is another element in the process of breaking free from your addiction to pornography. If you know what things drive you to look at porn, you can more easily avoid putting yourself in those situations. Knowledge is power and knowing your triggers gives you power over them.

Perhaps the temptation is strongest when you are tired. In that case, have your accountability partner set a cut-off time on your internet early in the evening. Are you most tempted when you are bored? Find friends to hang out with or start a hobby to occupy your attention. Is it after you watch certain kinds of television shows? Cancel your TV service subscription.

A Battle of the Mind

You need to recognize that you are in the fight of your life and that the battlefield is your mind. Even if you don’t have access to books, magazines, television, or the internet, you can still struggle with pornography in your mind. Your mind is a catalog of every dirty book you have ever read, every porn magazine you have ever looked at, and every XXX rated movie you have ever watched.

Because of this, it is crucial for you develop strategies to help you win the battle for the mind. You can start by filling your mind with Scriptures that speak against illicit sex. In addition, you can meditate on verses that talk about God’s glory, His law, or His demand for purity among His people.

If you are looking for an accountability partner who will walk through the process with you, or you are looking for a sex addiction counselor in San Diego, give us a call at San Diego Christian Counseling. Pornography addiction can be overcome – there is hope!

It is a devastating thing to discover that your spouse is addicted to pornography. You may feel a sense of betrayal that is akin to discovering that your spouse is having an affair, except that there isn’t another woman or man to blame – there’s only the phone, laptop, TV, or internet.

The first thing to consider is that blame should be placed where it belongs. Studies have shown that addiction to pornography is not linked to satisfaction with sex and relationships. You are not to blame for your spouse’s sin. Though it is normal for you to have guilt feelings, recognize that it is not your fault.

You might attempt to deny or normalize the behavior, but whether normal or not, porn addiction is harmful and immoral. Don’t succumb to the temptation to excuse it – you won’t be doing yourself or your partner any favors. You must recognize it for what it is – an addiction to a sinful behavior.

Now that you have recognized it, don’t give in to the temptation to try to berate your partner into better behavior or shame them into quitting. This is counterproductive and will only cause them to close themselves off to you and look for ways to be more secretive about their addiction.

If your spouse confessed the addiction to you in an attempt to come clean and enlist your help, then you should consider yourselves a team and face the addiction together, just as you would do if he/she was addicted to cocaine or alcohol. After all, they are your spouse and the two of you are partners.

Above all, you should get professional counseling. If you are seeking Christian counseling in San Diego, give us a call at San Diego Christian Counseling. We offer help for both the porn addict and their spouse.

As with any other kind of mental health issue, Christian counseling can help you overcome your addiction to porn. The key, however, is that you have to really want to change. If you are merely attending counseling so that you can check the appropriate box with your spouse or church leadership before you return to your addiction, you should not expect that Christian counseling will help you.

If you are sincerely wanting to break free, however, Christian counseling can help you learn how to overcome porn addiction with accountability and tools to fight the addiction. If you are looking for a Christian counselor in San Diego, call San Diego Christian Counseling at (619) 877-2560 or browse our counselor directory to find a Christian counselor who specializes in helping people overcome addiction to pornography.

First, and perhaps most obvious, you should find a counselor who is both trained and experienced in helping people break free from slavery to porn addiction. Second, you will want to find a counselor who you can relate to.

Third, you should look for a counselor who will be a true accountability partner for you – one who will rejoice with you over your victories, but who is also not afraid to point the finger at your dangerous behavior. In other words, the counselor should be both compassionate and firm.

If you are looking for help with how to overcome porn addiction, contact San Diego Christian Counseling today by calling us at 619-877-2560 or visit our online counselor directory to find a Christian counselor who is right for you. We offer a risk-free initial session so that you will feel comfortable that you made the right choice.

There is help and hope for the porn addict who truly desires to change.

Get connected with a Christian Counselor
Please contact our reception team at
(619) 877-2560

Schedule an appointment