Dealing with Grief After the Loss of Your Spouse

Experiencing the trauma of losing a spouse is one of the deepest griefs known to humankind. The bereaved spouse is left in a world that seems familiar but is devastated by a loss that impacts every other aspect of life. In dealing with grief after the loss of a spouse, it’s helpful to understand the grieving process and all its components.

Acknowledging the Loss When Dealing with Grief

The most common first reaction to losing one’s spouse or other loved one is denial. It seems impossible that this person is gone, never to come back. Eventually, reality sinks in and the grieving person’s mind accepts the truth of their loved one’s death.

Their emotions also become accustomed to the loss and they lose their instinctive impulse to speak or reach to their loved one.

Instead, those impulses become reminders of grief. It’s common for a bereaved person to think they caught a glimpse of their loved one in a public setting when they were really just reminded by someone who resembled them. This glimpse of a seemingly familiar face triggers a moment of hope that the loved one isn’t really gone.

The Need to Feel & Express Grief

It’s essential to fully feel the devastation of the loss, allowing the painful emotions to be experienced and expressed. Overwhelming sadness in response to loss is painful yet necessary.

Experiencing all of this grief and pain is the foundation for moving forward in the grieving process. Every aspect of the loss will impact the grieving spouse in a specific way, from a sense of loneliness and isolation, even to feelings of anger or resentment at the deceased spouse, and frequently, anxiety, regret, despair, guilt, or depression. Any areas of the relationship that were difficult or unresolved before death can trigger these negative emotions.

Feeling Pain, Finding Hope: The Comfort of the Cross

According to a Christian worldview, death is an unnatural interruption in our original destiny, which is to live eternally with the Lord. Because of sin and the fall, death became a part of our human experience. Not only will every one of us die eventually, but we will all experience the loss of loved ones. Because of Jesus’ death on the cross as a sacrifice for our sins, and his resurrection where he conquered death, we can have hope beyond this life and know that there is a future beyond the grave.

Christian Counseling for Those Who Grieve

It’s crucial for a widow or widower to have a solid support system to help them as they’re dealing with grief, including family, friends, and church relationships.

Unfortunately, sometimes it is hard for support people to understand why the those dealing with grief have not adjusted better once several months have passed since the loss.

It’s impossible for those outside the relationship to understand the depths of grief the bereaved spouse is experiencing. This means that the support may lessen just as the initial crisis has passed and the bereaved spouse needs more encouragement and fellowship instead of less.