Your relationship should be a primary concern. However, when you account for family responsibilities, career moves, second jobs, aging parents, children, home maintenance, and other endeavors, it is easy to see why your relationship with your spouse may be heading for trouble. Not to mention family crises and upheavals in each spouse’s life.

Couples therapy could be the answer to drawing you back together, falling in love, and working as a team again through major obstacles.

What is couples therapy?

Couples therapy is a form of psychotherapy that allows two people in a relationship to sit down with a counselor or therapist and learn how to resolve their differences, work through trauma, or find common ground. Each session promotes healing, forgiveness, and grace.

Depending on your situation, you may only need therapy for a few sessions, or several spread out over a few months. Sessions are typically held in person or virtually at a convenient time for the couple and the counselor. Depending on your situation, you may want to expand your counseling session to include family or opt for group therapy sessions with other couples.

According to studies, seventy percent of couples who seek counseling make lasting changes that positively affect their relationship. Couples therapy could be the first step to protecting your marriage from divorce. Engaged couples also use couples therapy to prepare for their marriage months before the wedding.

The advantages of couples therapy

There are advantages to seeking couples therapy. The first advantage is that you are more likely to learn the skills needed to resolve conflicts and see your relationship flourish. This can lead to a lasting and fulfilling marriage.

The following is a list of advantages of couples therapy:

  • Learn how to resolve conflicts.
  • Learn how to cope with grief and loss as a couple.
  • Find intimacy (physical and emotional) again.
  • Move past trauma together.
  • Strengthen the relationship.
  • Rebuild trust after an affair or addiction.

Couples therapy is more than talk therapy. You learn evidence-based psychological techniques and skills to manage problems together after the sessions are long over with a counselor. The counselor’s goal is to equip you with the needed skills and give you the space to practice so you can manage for years to come.

Couples therapy also makes you more empathetic to your spouse’s thoughts and feelings. Sometimes, we get so caught up in our own internal narrative that we disregard the other person’s stance. Therapy enables you both to share in a safe environment with an unbiased third party.

Topics for couples therapy

Couples therapy is a safe place to share what is troubling you in the relationship and speak openly. Both you and your spouse should feel at ease talking to a trusted counselor about the topic or topics causing an issue in your marriage.

The following is a list of common topics couples explore with their counselor.

Loss of a child

The loss of a child is heartbreaking. Whether from an illness or tragedy, healing can feel far away and strain an otherwise healthy relationship. Counseling can help you through the grieving process. Sometimes, one person may become stuck in the grieving process or cycle back several times before reaching acceptance. A counselor aims to promote healing while processing the grief in healthy ways.

Financial problems and bankruptcy

Financial problems, business failure, bankruptcy, and eviction are all reasons for anyone to feel distraught. Often, couples grow apart, especially if one feels the other is to blame. Couples counseling can help work through the roadblocks and see options. Committing to each other and rebuilding takes work, but your counselor is with you every step of the way.

Infidelity or affairs

Trust is a fragile thing. It can be shattered in a moment and take years to rebuild. If you are both committed to the long-term relationship, there is hope. Christian counseling brings much-needed repentance with Jesus Christ as the cornerstone of the relationship. Your counselor will use faith-based principles, conflict resolution, and communication skills to help you draw closer to one another.

Addiction

Addiction tears families apart. Alcohol, illicit drugs, prescription drugs, gambling, pornography, and other addictions cause the loved ones closest to the person to lose trust. You can overcome addiction with the mercy of Jesus while repairing the relationship by learning new coping skills.

Parenting conflicts

How you raise your children varies from household to household. However, one thing is true: the parents must agree on how they will parent. Often, this is a contention spot for couples, especially in blended families. Counselors speak to couples before marriage to address parenting issues. Still, they also work with couples to agree on how and when to discipline, reward, and help the child grow physically, emotionally, and mentally strong.

Communication issues

If you lack intrapersonal or communication skills, expressing your thoughts and feelings is challenging. Your spouse may take what you are saying incorrectly, or vice versa. Counseling can teach you skills, including conflict resolution. You will learn more about how to communicate with your spouse based on both of your personalities.

For example, one person may be more detail-oriented and need to know everything beforehand. However, their spouse may be more of a happy-go-lucky, spontaneous person. The couple will need to learn how to balance each other out and respectfully communicate in a way the other will understand.

Depression and anxiety

Depression and anxiety are no respecter of persons. Both mental health conditions can develop in anyone and often coexist with other disorders. Although depression and anxiety are common conditions in the US, both can be hard for spouses to manage at home. Depression and anxiety treatment counseling includes bringing awareness into the relationship.

Other mental conditions

Other mental conditions can negatively impact relationships. For example, a man with PTSD may lash out at his wife in his sleep. Psychological methods, such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), are evidence-based techniques that help treat a variety of mental health conditions. A counselor will also work with the spouse and family to manage living with someone struggling with a mental condition.

Chronic illness

As much as you may love your spouse, dealing with a chronic illness is exhausting and often places physical, emotional, and financial strain on the relationship. Counseling helps with the physical and emotional well-being of the couple. It also encourages emotional intimacy. A counselor also offers support for people caring for a spouse with a terminal illness.

If another issue not listed above affects your relationship, contact our office today to speak with a counselor. The list is not all-inclusive, and often, clients have several topics to work through in their marriage.

For example, clients may need to address addiction, past infidelity, depression, and communication issues in the relationship. No relationship is cut and dry but complex. The time invested will pass anyway. Taking steps to ensure your marriage is solid and lasting is the best time investment you can make.

By bringing Jesus Christ into the relationship, you make Him the cornerstone. You will likely stay the course when your marriage is rebuilt with Christ as the foundation. You will love your spouse and treat them with honor and respect as you would the Lord if you are a Christian following in Christ’s footsteps. As you both practice the techniques learned in counseling and see how your faith is relevant to your life today, you will grow closer to your spouse.

Next steps

If couples therapy sounds like a solution to the issues in your relationship or a way to strengthen your marriage, contact us today to schedule a session. A representative will connect you with a counselor who specializes in the topics covered in couples therapy.

There is hope for your relationship. You can rekindle what was lost and move forward together again. Contact us today to get started.

Photo:
“Holding Hands”, Courtesy of Joe Yates, Unsplash.com, CC0 License

DISCLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE

Articles are intended for informational purposes only and do not constitute medical advice; the Content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. All opinions expressed by authors and quoted sources are their own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the editors, publishers or editorial boards of San Diego Christian Counseling. This website does not recommend or endorse any specific tests, physicians, products, procedures, opinions, or other information that may be mentioned on the Site. Reliance on any information provided by this website is solely at your own risk.