Teen Counseling: Discerning Drama and Depression

Teen drama is fast-moving, frequently changing, and can leave parents feeling lost and confused about when to seek professional help such as teen counseling. Oftentimes, when it appears there is little rhyme or reason for the conflict and tension flowing like a mighty river in your teen’s life, sometimes a legitimate cry for help can get missed. San Diego Christian Counseling can be a valuable resource in recognizing these signs early and providing the support your teen needs during these tumultuous times.

Parents are frequently left wondering: “Is this just more drama?” “Should I do something about this?” “What will happen if I just ignore this?” “Should I go get help?” What makes this decision-making process even more difficult is that often the issues get resolved without any serious consequence or need for attention. But for some teenagers in some circumstances, the relational and emotional turmoil is a serious cry for help and is an issue that needs professional care.

As a parent or guardian, it may be tempting to write off troubling behavior or emotional outbursts as part of the growing-up process, because sometimes it is. But if a child is experiencing prolonged behavioral issues or psychological distress, such as anxiety, depression, self-harm or suicidal ideation, then teen therapy is recommended as an appropriate next step.

Seeking out teen counseling is like when you go to see a doctor for pain in the body to ensure that something more serious is not being overlooked that needs professional attention and services. Teen counseling is the same. It is an opportunity to engage in a professional assessment to ensure that something important is not being overlooked. It is a first step option to see whether more counseling is recommended.

Sometimes, Christians can fall prey to the mindset that as long as you “raise up a child in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:6), then there will be no problems. That is just not the case.  Teens today are navigating a turbulent, confusing world.

They are inundated with conflicting and damaging messages. As immature beings, they are learning how to manage and regulate their own thoughts and ideas in a body raging with hormones, in a society that is frequently juxtaposed to Christian ideals.

As a concerned adult, it is imperative to learn how to acknowledge the difficult social, societal, and interpersonal realities facing teens today. And sometimes one of the most loving and supportive things a parent can do is to provide their teen a private space for reflection and honest dialogue as they struggle to develop healthy thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and ultimately, their faith.

Jesus modeled an incredible level of unconditional love and care for all of who we are: the good, the bad, and the ugly. He isn’t asking for us to hide the complicated parts of our lives; He wants to meet us in those places. Christian counseling is a powerful way to help your teen process and work through their thoughts and feelings as they become more open to God’s work in their lives.

Drama or Depression?

Depression can sometimes develop during this fragile developmental timeframe as your child transitions from childhood into becoming a teen and into young adulthood. As their minds and understanding develop, they come face-to-face with some of the harder truths of life, such as mortality for both themselves and their loved ones, loss, or illness.

These reflections and thoughts are a natural part of becoming an adult, and teens can struggle with successfully integrating this awareness of perceived injustice with a positive view of themselves, this world, and their faith.

This is a time when the teen learns how to come to terms with the uncertainty of life and learn to live in the midst of this fragility with faith, hope, and love. The teen years are an important time of development and growth. Facing these realities is part of this process and journey toward becoming a healthy adult.

During this journey, teens can experience a low level of depression as they struggle with the cognitive dissonance associated with these competing thoughts and ideas. This time of struggle is normal unless it continues for an extended amount of time (i.e. longer than 2-3 months), is increasing in frequency and/or severity, or starts to impede their ability to function.

If this depression has additional stress factors such as a learning disability, the death of a loved one, moving, family conflict, serious injury/illness, and financial difficulty, the added stress of these circumstances paired with the natural stress of being a teenager can become too much for a young person to handle.

This sort of depression moves beyond the normal teenage moodiness and can manifest as being regularly irritated, social isolation, extreme mood swings, abnormal fatigue, weight gain or loss, feelings of worthlessness, and even suicidal thoughts. The behaviors that result from teen depression can interfere with their life and hobbies. Teenagers facing this sort of depression and experiencing these symptoms will highly benefit from counseling.

Important warning signs that may require teen counseling

If the early signs of depression go untreated, it may develop into a more serious type of depression. Three serious warning signs that show your teenager should be in counseling.

Self-harm

The first is self-harm. If you find your teenager cutting or hurting themselves, then you should seek out professional help. This sort of behavior is serious and needs to be addressed. It often begins small and, even though frightening, may seem manageable.

But over time the problem will become worse and grow more serious. Counseling will help your child process and manage the negative thoughts and feelings leading them into greater healing and freedom.

Chronic substance abuse

The second is chronic substance abuse. Trying drugs and alcohol is not an uncommon occurrence as teenagers test the boundaries and learn their values, but regular use and abuse of drugs or alcohol is a problem.

This sort of behavior is even more dangerous if there is a history of substance abuse and dependence in your family. Teenagers risk creating serious and lasting consequences if this behavior begins at a young age.

Suicidal thoughts

The third is suicidal thoughts. Threats of suicide and death should always be taken seriously. Even if you think your child is just being dramatic, the risk is far too high to not respond in a serious way. Parents sometimes mistakenly assume their child must be joking or being dramatic which can result in serious consequences. Teenage suicide rates continue to rise, making this a more and more pressing matter.

What to expect from teen counseling

So you’ve decided to get your teen help, that’s an important first step. But you may be wondering what to expect from teen counseling. Curiosity like this is only natural. Here are some things you may want to know.

There are three main options for teen therapy: individual, group, and family therapy. Individual counseling is when your teenager meets privately with a counselor to discuss their issues and behavior.

Styles and practices will vary from counselor to counselor, but generally speaking, your teen will have the space to express themselves, process their feelings, and have a counselor thoughtfully guide them in reflection. Group therapy is more discussion-based. It will consist of other teens dealing with a variety of issues. It is less personalized in nature and gives teens the chance to learn from others and participate in healthy discussions.

Finally, family therapy will consist of bringing the whole family to the counselor to discuss family issues. This requires all family members to be on board and willing to process the current family structures.

Unexpected realities of therapy for teens

Something many parents find surprising is that their teens are offered privacy. You may or may not be expected to participate in the counseling, but regardless there will be private space for your teenager to express themselves with a counselor.

What’s even more surprising for some parents is the fact that the counselor cannot tell you what they discuss. This might seem backward or frustrating, but it is very important to offer teenagers a safe place to share and process their experiences.

Parents are also sometimes confused by the seemingly off-topic nature of the counseling. If your teenager is struggling with getting drunk every weekend, it may seem irrelevant to start discussing what they remember from being five years old, but the counselor is trying to unearth the deeper issues behind why they want to drink. Counseling requires patience and diligence. Don’t be discouraged if the counseling seems to be going off track.

How can you prepare your teenager for counseling?

Bringing your teenager in on the process of selecting a counselor is important. They exist in a transition between childhood and adulthood, giving them a voice in their life is important. It will also help them buy into the idea of going to counseling. By helping them research and decide on different counselors to try, you can empower your teenager, making them feel capable and strengthening their commitment to the process of counseling.

Conclusion

It’s easy to write off teenage behavior and moodiness as just “being a teenager,” but that isn’t always the case. Sometimes teenagers are really facing difficult circumstances that their young minds and hearts aren’t prepared to handle. If we simply leave them to their own devices, they can spiral deeper into depression and substance abuse, creating lasting problems. Seeking support from resources like San Diego Christian Counseling can help provide the guidance and care they need to navigate these challenges effectively.

Remember that sometimes raising a child up in the way they should go may require some professional help. Sending your teenager to counseling isn’t a weakness, it’s an investment in their future health.