Signs a Child Needs Help in a Family Crisis

Family struggles come in a myriad of forms. Whether it’s divorce, abuse, or other trauma, it is not always easy to detect when a family is in crisis. When a child needs help, it may be tricky to navigate the family system to seek intervention. However, children suffer the most at these moments.

Children need people to advocate for them to have the best life possible, regardless of their circumstances. How do you know when a child in a family crisis needs help? Some signs can guide you that the child is overwhelmed and needs help.

Sudden Outbursts of Crying or Grief

Children are often happy and content with their circumstances. However, a child who seems sad all the time or has sudden outbursts of crying needs a conversation with a caring adult. Even if they can’t specifically tell you why they’re crying, they may need help. Although crying is not always a sign of a deeper issue, uncontrollable outbursts must be addressed. It is likely that the child is trying to cope with a deep sense of grief.

Children sometimes have difficulty expressing themselves and don’t always know how to describe their feelings or thoughts. Furthermore, adults may mislead them into believing that their sadness is normal behavior.

When children cannot discern whether the situation they come from is normal, it may be difficult for them to seek help in appropriate ways. They need someone who can spot their sadness and inquire about what’s happening. If you suspect that a child is unnecessarily sad because of a family trauma, you may need to intervene on their behalf.

A Need for Food or Resources

When a child’s basic needs are not being met, it may become obvious to other adults. This is a sign that something may not be right at home. A hungry child, wearing unsanitary clothes, or missing hygiene practices, may be experiencing some form of neglect or trauma at home. While there may be financial difficulties, it may also be that some form of abuse is wreaking havoc on the child.

Likewise, for example, a single mother with a low-paying job may suffer from financial difficulty and just need help. A child may not understand this, especially if the mother does not tell them. In this case, the child may not be at risk of neglect or abuse, but the family system is strained and can use support.

Helping those in need is where the church shines, but you may need to tread lightly when it comes to help and advocacy. Finding out more from those who are close to that family will give you better insight as to what’s going on. Wrong assumptions can hurt and offend. Ask around and see if people know the child’s situation more deeply.

If you ultimately do decide to offer support in the form of resources (food, clothes, etc.), be aware of your approach. Choose your words wisely and treat the family like you’d like to be treated. Give dignity, privacy, and respect, avoiding unnecessary sharing, gossip, or judgement. This can cause additional embarrassment, shame, or harm.

Stories of Abuse

If a child can recite specific stories of sexual acts, violence, or extreme discipline, like spanking to the point of leaving bruises, intervention is mandatory and required by law. However, it is important to move carefully and thoroughly. Simply because a child tells a story, it may not mean that is exactly what is happening. Share the story with a trusted official or leader, letting them know what you have heard. Let someone who is a mandatory reporter handle the rest.

Mandatory reporters are required by law to report any of these scenarios to Children and Family Services. Children and Family Services will investigate and, upon conclusion, decide if a child needs to be removed from the home because of abuse. Sometimes, children make up stories, and you don’t want to assume the child is telling the truth unless you have proof.

If, for example, you find a child has a bruise, welt, or other extreme marks on their body and they tell you it’s because a parent hit them, then you have something to say to a leader or official who can handle the situation with the best resources necessary.

Family Members Share That the Child is Struggling

In some circumstances, family members seek out help when they are in the midst of a family crisis. If a family member who has just gone through trauma or a difficult situation asks for help identifying places where they can get resources, be kind and direct them. If they share concern about their child’s well-being, help them access further resources.

Likewise, if they need practical resources, follow the advice above. Tangible food items like grocery items are better than money, and gas cards and gift cards are better than actual money. However, do whatever you need to do to help the family. Don’t let concern over how the resources will be spent impede you from doing what you think is necessary to help them. Don’t give any resources with strings attached.

If the family discloses abuse, pursue what is safe and best for the child and the whole family. You can explore resources for family members for addiction, anger management, and counseling, while also navigating support and protection for the child.

Help in the Midst of a Family Crisis

If you detect that a child needs help because of a family crisis, it is important that you push further on behalf of the child. Whether it is asking further questions, getting authorities involved, or directing the family to places of healing, do not neglect the tug inside that says to do something. In the end, the whole family could find the help and wholeness for which they were longing.

It is important to know that this work is not uncomplicated. There are ways to be self-aware of how you intervene in troubled families. Whether giving material needs or involving authorities, always proceed with discernment, respect, and humility. Give dignity and remember judgment is up to God, not humans.

A gift is a gift, and it needs to be given as such. Jesus gave his life for us as a gift. Be obedient and respond to the call you feel is necessary to help. Leave the rest up to God. Identifying what resources or help you can give a family may be complex. Give as you feel you have need and as you think God is calling you to do. Give those gifts without strings attached and watch as the Lord blesses those in need.

If you would like a resource for a child or family’s counseling needs, contact our office today. We have counselors available for all members of the family system. Using faith-based principles, the Christian therapists in our practice can lead a family to the help they need.