Out of the 60 million United States marriages in existence today, three-quarter of them are destined to make it, according to recent statistics. While you have probably heard that a staggering half end in divorce, that’s a misconception, thank goodness. Just hearing such bleak news is enough to set couples up for failure before they even get a good start.
It is encouraging to know that the divorce rate in America has been grossly exaggerated and falsely reported.
Still, there are a number of things within a marriage that, when left undealt with, can easily lead straight to the divorce attorney’s office. At San Diego Christian Counseling, we strive to help those whose marriages are in a struggle by giving them to most accurate marriage information available as well as the tool they need to assist them when they face issues. We also offer another priceless resource – hope. Through the process of Christian counseling, marriages can withstand the storms.
We help couples find solutions that are rooted in faith. We mix our love for our Heavenly Father with the unity He ordained along with the marriage purpose He has in mind in order to assist couples through whatever troubles may come their way. It makes no difference if you’ve been married for years, just a short time or if you are not even married yet, we offer help to all. No matter the level of your marriage problems, how great or how small, our Christian-based marriage counseling is ready and able to fill you with hope and to provide you with guidance.
Christian Focused Marriage Counseling Benefits
Marriage counseling, especially with a Christian focus, can literally save your marriage. First of all, our highly-skilled counselors are professionals. They are passionate about doing all they can to help marriages thrive and heal. Although the goals are similar, the actual approach taken with each couple is done on an individual basis.
Help through Christ-based marriage counseling:
- Learn healthy methods of conflict resolution.
- Find out how to communicate with more effectiveness.
- Openly vocalize your needs without anger or fear.
- Work through and process difficult issues.
- Develop an appreciation for and a better understanding of your partner.
- Learn to set goals together for your future.
- Revive trust and intimacy.
- Discover ways to live together in faith and spiritually connect.
The counselors at our center use highly effective, insight-oriented therapy for marriages that has proven to be 97% successful! The focus of this method is the concept that we can form relationships that are more fulfilling and can function more efficiently when we connect with ourselves first. As we begin to understand our personal emotions and learn more about who we really are, we can better get a glimpse into the reasons we act how we do. This revelation leads to healing insight on multiple levels.
Our San Diego Christian-based counseling counselors have helped a myriad of couples from all age groups in all walks of life find healing and hope. There is no issue that is too big or too small for Christ. If you find your marriage is struggling, the time is now to reach out to the marriage counseling that is available to you here.
Making A Marriage Relationship Work:Simple Solutions To Common Problems Within A Marriage
About 70% of all married couples claim to be quite happy.
Contrary to what you may have heard, most individuals who are married say they are happy, generally. In a National Fatherhood Initiative Marriage Survey that was conducted in 2005, it was discovered that almost 70% expressed being “very happy”, almost 30% said they were “happy” and only 4% stated they were “not very happy”.
If you are under the impression that individuals who are married are basically unhappy, think again. The statistics show otherwise. If you are not happy in your marriage, the study shows you are part of the minority.
What does that show in regard to your marriage? It can indicate that through the course of time, a number of little hurts piled up to form what can feel like a mountain of issues. Then, in some of the cases, there may be foundational changes in your marriage which may require some attention which, with effort and in time, can be very rewarding. The outcome can be a very satisfying and sound marriage.
Communication Matters – He Said, She Said
Remember the old “men come from Mars, but women come from Venus concept?” The whole notion stems from the fact that women and men are different. They think differently, and their needs can vary a lot too. Even the way in which they express themselves is not the same. These differences may easily lead to communication problems and other complications within the marriage as well. Interestingly, the majority of marital issues are not comprised of “deal breakers” but of minorconflicts and feelings that have been hurt.
Discover better communication skills through Christian based counseling:
- Learn things that hinder communicating effectively.
- Acquire skills to become a better, more engaged listener.
- Improve your transmitting and reading of signals in nonverbal communication.
- Manage anxiety and stress.
- Learn to control your emotional responses.
- Find out how to express your needs and feelings healthily.
We at San Diego Christian Counseling hope to be vessels to share the vision of love and unity that God has for marriage and the tools needed for growth. Growth isn’t easy. It can be quite difficult, in fact. The spiritual and personal growth process can come by way of spousal conflicts and inner battles until finally, those trials cause you to realize the need for changing things to better your marriage, yourself and your personal relationship with the Lord.
Sexual Problems And Trust Issues Within Marriage
It’s difficult enough for couples to work through issues involving trust without adding a third person to intervene. There’s the unfaithful partner swearing that the incident will never, ever happen again. You have the spouse who is having a hard time believing the promise.
There’s the question whether to forgive the perpetrator and forget the hurtful deed or not. What if the person at fault tries to quit and fails? Or, what if the victimized spouse attempts to forgive and is not able to? Many underlying causes can be lurking beneath the surface. That is where Christ-centered counseling is very helpful.
After your relationship has suffered a betrayal, Christian marriage counseling is able to help you by:
- Working through such symptoms as flashbacks, anxiety, nightmares, depression, loss of sexual desire and more.
- Discovering root causes and issues beneath the surface that can lead to actions like sex addiction,
- addiction to pornography and affairs.Such things are usually caused by issues that are deep-rooted that are quite difficult to resolve on your own without help from a professional.
- Gaining an understanding of your many fears and emotion and helping to establish better habits.
- Learning to grow in unity as a couple which will enable you to re-establish trust in a natural way rather than forcing it.
It is very common to have trust issues after a partner has had an affair. It is also very normal and understandable to feel overwhelmed and hopeless and to have trouble believing your marriage can ever recover. We have witnessed many couples walk through the fire and come out on the other side even stronger than they were before. It’s in the dark times that God shows his mercy and grace and often actually allows those times so we can learn, grow and become wiser.
Study of “The Surprising Secrets of High Happy Marriages” by ShauntiFeldhahn, 2013
Is it important for a marriage to center around God in order for it to work? Does having Christ as the head really make a difference? We wholeheartedly believe that it does. In fact, research reveals that couples who are of the same faith and who worship together have a 35-50% less chance of divorce.
Throughout God’s word, it is taught that couples should marry within the faith and it happens all the time. Sometimes, however, one of the partners will actually turn to the other’s faith or get more involved in the church once they have already gotten married. Christian counseling can help resolve numerous conflicts that can arise in regard to faith issues.
Ways our counselors help couples whether they believe the same or differently:
- Help you find appreciation and respect for the needs your spouse has on a spiritual level.
- Assist you in discovering new methods to connect together in your individualized spiritual expressions.
- Show you how to reach understandings and make decisions where your children and faith are concerned.
- Teach you to use your own faith as well as your spouses’ to grow as a unit even when your beliefs are not the same.
Perhaps you are having a hard time because you married someone who isn’t a Christian. We fully understand the concerns you have and how that issue can easily affect many realms of your married life.
We at San Diego Christian Counseling are here with open arms, ready to support you and also ready to give you the tools needed with these very sensitive issues. In addition, we have the tools and support needed for believing couples to build a marriage that is even stronger and more Christ-centered.
Financial Matters In Marriage
Living life on life’s terms can be stressful enough but throwing money matters into the mix can make it even worse. Finances are the top problem areas couples face. Around 64% of all couples admit that money issues are a huge stress. The fact is that when you are struggling with finances, it can put a monumental strain on your marriage.
Money issues can cause feelings of fear and insecurity. It is wise to seek not only the advice of an adviser in the financial field but from a counselor too. Money matters left undealt with can lead to other problems like careless spending, gambling and hiding or hoarding money.
If money (or the lack of it) is interfering in your marriage, we would love to lend you a hand by offering sound Godly Christian counseling.
Christ-centered Christian counseling for your marriage counseling helps with problems of finances and money and finances because it will help you:
- Deal with any infidelity incurred by exposing and addressing the root and working towards trust building.
- Discover behaviors that end up causing hardships financially like shopping addictions and gambling.
- Learn to better communicate so you and your spouse can share financial based responsibilities and budget your money.
- Set clear cut goals that are aimed at a secure financial future.
When money matters bring on worry, it can steal the peace from your marriage. Jesus tells us that we should pursue righteousness and also God’s kingdom and that we should walk in faith. He promises that if we do, all things will then be added unto us.Financial problems are truly thieving from your relationship and also is challenging other areas like your emotional and mental health.
Spicing Your Marriage Up In The Bedroom
It’s very common for a marriage to have intimacy and sexual issues. While it is natural for a couple to have such troubles, it is not normal for the problems to continue for a length of time or when there is a breakdown in communication due to hurt feelings or feelings of neglect.
If any of these factors exist in your marriage, Christian counseling can help. We are here to help you work through the problems and to help your marriage grow in the Lord so you can connect in a fuller way and learn how to communicate about such sensitive matters.
Problems in the Marriage Bed that Christian counseling is able to help with:
- Little or no desire for sex and disagreements about how often to have it.
- Expectations of the partner with high desire and the health of such.
- Sexual anxieties and performance issues.
- Addiction to sex.
Intimacy in the bedroom is a sensitive subject and is oftentimes a reflection of other issues that exist within a relationship. We lend a safe listening ear and offer you solutions so you and your spouse can grow closer rather than apart, despite whatever issues you are having in your sex life.
When The Baby Arrives – Couple Parenting
Having a little one changes practically everything – even the dynamics of your marriage. While having children is the source of much joy and is an honor, it is also quite challenging at times. Couples have to make many decisions together like how to parent and how to share all of the responsibilities that parenthood brings along with it.
It can be very overwhelming. You may find yourself feeling disconnected, especially from your spouse. It is imperative to solve these issues or they can easily get out of hand and create more problems.
A Christian marriage counselor can help you:
- Understand your style of parenting and the influences thereof.
- Identify core values each partner possesses and how it relates to raising children.
- Define the areas you and your spouse conflict and help you find compromises.
- Discuss responsibilities of parenting and figure out how to share them in a fair way.
- Discover better ways to interact in order to promote the behaviors you wish your children to have and to put a stop to those you don’t want them to have.
- Help your spouse and yourself maintain an intimate, happy and healthy marriage after having children.
Christian-based marriage counseling can assist you in learning how to have a satisfying and meaningful, successful marriage while parenting at the same time. Whether you are new parents, are expecting or if you have been parents for a while already, there are roadblocks that you may encounter that can bring harm to your home and to your marriage.Are you feeling stuck? We can help.
All things work in your favor when God is the Lord of your life. Even the challenges and hardships are for good the Bible says. It can be very trying and difficult when you are in the midst of the storm but at our counseling center, we are dedicated to helping you weather the storm and come out victorious on the other side.
“Insight-Oriented Marital Therapy: A 4-Year Follow-Up Study,” Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, Vol. 59 (1), Feb. 1991.
The Unfortunate Divorce Legacy
How you ever wonder what it is that leads people to get a divorce? One of the main roots behind couples calling it quits is that they feel lost and hopeless. They don’t believe things will ever get better. They also tend to believe that divorce will somehow fix things, that it is a solution to the problem. It is common to think of divorce as a chance to start over.
Studies indicate that couples tend to be less happy once they are divorced. It’s like cutting off your foot because your foot is broken. While you may feel divorce is the only viable option, beware that more pain will follow, like cutting off your foot.
Common effects that divorce includes:
- Feeling financially strained – If you think your marriage is feeling a financial pinch, think of how a divorce would affect it. The average United States divorce cost is around $15,000. When you add in the fact that assets must be split up, the cost of attorneys and that reality that there will be two households rather than just one, you can see the tab running up. Paying for counseling is no comparison to the cost of a divorce.
- Negatively affecting your children – It’s no secret that divorces have huge effects on the children. The consequences are astronomical when it comes to the pain, false guilt and anger your children are likely to experience if their parents go their own ways. It is an adjustment that many have life-long issues over. They often have trouble at school, problems with their friends and develop such stress-related issues as sleep disorders and depression because of divorce.
- Physical and emotional effects of divorce on children – There are many implications a divorce can have on the well being of your children that stems from the deep emotional pain they experience. Their mental and physical health can suffer greatly. Your child may go through changes like losing or gaining weight, sleeping too much or too little or being vulnerable to acting out or even abusing drugs or alcohol.
If you are feeling hopeless but don’t want a divorce, know that there is an alternative. You don’t have to stay stuck, you can reach out to us. We are completely dedicated to walking through the mess with couples in order to help them overcome situations that are overwhelming and that seem absolutely void of hope. We have assisted multitudes of couples to get through obstacles, even those who tried counseling for their marriage before without good results.
Studies have proven that if you are having marriage problems but stick it out for a period of five years, you have an amazing 80% chance of being happy within it?
At San Diego Christian Counseling, we see those kinds of results all the time. We believe that God created marriage and that He can fix them too. We also believe that marriage helps us grow, learn and experience love not only for our spouse but for God as well. A three-fold cord is a bond that is designed with a lifetime in mind.
Don’t wait another minute when you can get your marriage back on track today.
Do you want to know more about Christ-centered marriage? To set up a risk-free initial visit, call us at 424-361-6198 or reach out online.
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