Advice for Parents on Dealing with Teen Issues with Grace

Parenting is always a very demanding task especially when your children are in their adolescent stage. Generally, this stage lasts from the age of about eight to twenty-five years and may be challenging and tough for both teens and their parents.

During this critical stage, as teens struggle to find their own footing in the world, parents and the family, in general, may find it difficult to adjust themselves to accommodate their changing child. San Diego Christian Counseling can provide guidance during this time.

For the parents, surviving their child’s adolescence is never easy. To reduce the stress caused by the adolescent child, they should put into practice the following tips from Carl Pickhardt’s book, Surviving Your Child’s Adolescence.

Advice for Parents Dealing with Teen Issues

Here are five tips for parenting teen issues with grace:

Never take it personally.

Pickhardt likens the adolescent age to your dog abruptly changing into a cat. You are now enjoying the companionship of your dog but suddenly find yourself dealing with a testy cat. In this stage, parents can’t ever know enough about their child, though their contribution is of great importance. As a parent, it is always tempting to attach one’s worth to the child’s behavior and success despite the fact that your worth is not dependent on that of your child.

To link your worth as a parent to your child’s success can leave you disappointed and feeling as though you have failed since your teens will have to face challenges which may be out of your control as a parent. The best thing that a parent can do is to support them through these adolescent years. Through the help of your spouse, friends and ultimately God’s help and guidance, you can rest assured that you will achieve your best.

Set realistic goals and expectations.

All parents expect that their precious children will always a source of joy, but in this stage, the majority of the teens will always try to distance themselves from their family and parents. Defiance will also be part of this and lack of communication will follow in some cases. Unfortunately, these behaviors will affect parents in one form or another.

Ignorance is something else that manifests itself during adolescence making a child less communicative, leaving the parent in the dark about certain things. Another major reality is withdrawal. Teens want to have more time for themselves and this annoys parents who like spending time with their children.

Being aware of these behaviors in the transition from childhood to being independent adults, parents should understand and tolerate the behavior of their children. Controlling your child’s actions and decisions at this stage may not be easy and therefore parents should be accommodative.

Know what the purpose is.

In life, everything has its specific purpose and this season is meant to transition your child from being dependent to being an independent individual. This is where teens differentiate themselves from their parents and in this gradual process they develop a sense of self-independence which prepares them to live their own independent lives away from parental supervision.

The role of role of the parents is to prepare their children to become thriving and successful adults. In this adolescent stage, conflicts may occasionally arise and this will offer a chance for you to teach them how to navigate differing values and disagreements in life. This is a key thing that they have to learn as they become independent since they will have to resolve conflicts when they are. Transitions in life are difficult for everyone and they can be uncomfortable, scary and even stressful, so parents need to understand the feelings of their kids.

Boost the self-esteem of your teen.

This is something that you can easily achieve as a parent. You need to look for opportunities to build their esteem at this critical stage. Most of them always face moments of loneliness and discouragement regularly. As a parent, you should provide a place where they fell lifted up and encouraged. Always endeavor to share their joy by encouraging them to achieve their dreams and by regularly being engaged in their activities.

Eight Anchors of Adolescent Growth

In his book, Pickhardt outlines these issues which are important to parents who want to make some significant changes in how they parent their children in adolescence.

1. Completing homework. Homework is an excellent way to practice how to complete daily tasks, even those that one dislikes. Punctuality and self-discipline are important things that kids need to have in future.
2. Cleaning up their room. Cleaning one’s room is the hallmark of teenage years and this develops their sense of responsibility and the need to maintain their personal space and to be careful in what they do.
3. Being part of events and family gatherings. Sometimes this may not be taken well by your adolescent kids since they prefer to spend most of their time with friends. However, as a wise parent, take your time and remind them of the importance of being close to the family.
4. Saving money. Emphasizing the necessity of managing one’s personal finances to your teens is of great significance since it teaches restraint and the principles of wise spending.
5. Developing proficiency. Pickhardt states that “Developing proficiency of knowledge of skill nurtures confidence that many adolescents sorely need.” The parent should always take a responsibility of encouraging peers to be committed to acquiring certain skills and developing their confidence in those areas like sports or singing in the church choir.
6. Attending their daily chores. Completing their daily chores on time may indicate how responsible your teens are. All the mature members of the should see to it that the teens finish their chores within the set time frame. Pickhardt argues that the chores have to be completed on time without giving teens any allowances.
7. Being involved in voluntary community service. Being engaged in community services regularly prompts the teens to think about others and the importance of assisting them in various ways.
8. Relating to adults or mentors. This is one of the areas where parents need to model behavior and perception of things in their teenagers. They must make sure that they are linked to God-fearing adults who not only became friends but also great mentors in life. This gives your children a different focus from what is taught to them by their fellow immature peers, and hopefully, this will transform them in many ways.

Parenting through teen issues is not a simple task, but it is an exhausting process with many ups and downs. Sometimes one may feel as if it will last forever and other days as though it’s just flying by. But wherever you are on this journey of raising teens, remain focused, set healthy goals and find ways of establishing the Eight Anchors of Adolescence. Hopefully, these tips will positively impact your Christian upbringing of teens. San Diego Christian Counseling can offer additional support during this time.